Come to the Well

My favorite Christian band, Casting Crowns, released its new album this week. It is titled Come to the Well, based on the passage of the woman at the well meeting Jesus in  John 4.  I have been anxiously anticipating the release of this album and I can't wait until Christmas, when I know some loving family member (hint, hint) will get me the devotional book that goes with it (written by Mark Hall, lead singer of Casting Crowns). My favorite thing about this band is that they are ministers first and musicians next. Each and every single one of their songs has words that cut like a knife down to your soul... and they have no qualms about saying things like they are, openly criticizing the overly religious and exhorting Christians to build relationships with Jesus Christ. Check out their website... they have wonderful short video Bible studies perfect for your daily devotionals!!!

I have been engulfed in this music since its release on Tuesday morning...and I've been moved by so many of the songs! They have stayed with me even after I'm done listening and have helped me come face to face with my Lord in the quietness AND craziness of my days. As you may have read in my earlier posts, I have been going through a process of searching God's peace during a very troubling time. I am sure many of you parents of kids on the spectrum can relate to the battles we often have to fight with the school system to get our kids what they need. We are dab smack in the middle of one of those battles and my worst fear, that the little man would be the one to suffer the most from the process, has come true...but I trust that God has a plan!

Being in "the business" of public special education (and specializing in working with kids on the autism spectrum) has given me a different insight into my son's education and his needs. It has also "colored" my expectations of my son's educators, much to their dismay. As a Christian, my professional experience has not always been a good thing. I have felt like I had to control everything and make it just right for the little man at school. By bringing in specialists and by fighting and relying on my own strength I just wore myself out... and my family was paying the price (particularly my wonderful husband). I have felt physically, emotionally and spiritually torn between my duties as a mother/wife and my duties in my professional work. That has suffered, too, in my quest to get my son what he needs.

The lyrics of some of Casting Crowns' new songs like Already There, Face Down, My Own Worst Enemy, and Listen to Our Hearts have reminded me that:
1) God has the perfect long-distance view of this journey I am on and each step has a purpose in His perfect plan.
2) God is constantly there, waiting for me to "make" time for Him.
3) I don't have to force myself to find the words to say to Him in prayer. He sees my heart and knows my love for Him, even when I can't find a way to show or tell him.
4) I can't fight this fight alone. I can NOT make it on my own!
AND 5) I feel closest to God when I humble myself before Him...completely...and face down.

Last night during my quiet time with my God, He brought together in my mind images from my last post coupled with the cover of Come to the Well:

I wish I was an artist so I could depict the vivid illustration He put in my spirit. Face down in total humility before the Lord I raised my hands and physically handed Him my load. My hands were dirty and my clothes were tattered...my power, strength, experience and knowledge are just not enough!

My post now comes full-circle to why I love Casting Crowns' music so much. Their lyrics are constant reminders that we should ALL be prostrated before our Lord in the utmost reverence and humble disposition. Only by rendering ourselves to Him and giving Him our load will we be free and see that He is carrying us...and we find peace. I truly believe that Christians should spend more time in this position and less time judging others. "Jesus Friend of Sinners" is another awesome track on the album that touches my heart. Jesus did not come for the pristine churchgoers who are more like the Pharisees He chastised. He came for the sinners...those He befriended and invited into his inner circle by saying "Follow me."

But I am digressing. In closing I will leave you with the catchiest hook on the entire album. The title song reminds us to "leave it all behind and come to the well." Only when you humble yourself, hand your baggage to the Almighty and leave it behind will you be able to draw and enjoy from the well of Living Water and find your peace in the midst of this puzzle.

Have a blessed day!
DC

In the Shadow of His Wings

Hi all! It surely has been a interesting week for us but I am glad and thankful to report that the little man is doing MUCH, MUCH better at school.  Please keep the prayers coming.

My mom has been away in Chile doing "her thing" for what has seemed like eternity. At least in this day and age of technology there are so many ways to stay in touch even though she is miles and miles away. This is an email she sent me while she was gone. She knew we were going through some serious trials with the little guy and his school and wanted to remind me that we are under God's eternal protection.  I tried to track down the author of the email but have not had success... if anyone sees this and can give the author credit, please let me know. I'd like to give credit where credit is due. I do know the picture is listed as "photographer unkown." It truly is a beautiful scene! The text in the email read:
"Reminds me of Psalm 91:4- He will cover you with his feathers, he will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection."
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain.
There is absolutely nothing to fear about tomorrow; for God is already there"

In my search for the photographer of this amazing picture I stumbled upon an article in a newspaper in the UK. It featured two pictures of a mother swan with her babies.

The article, in the dailynews.co.uk had the following caption: The mute swan and her fluffy cargo were caught on camera by Richard Meston on a visit to Bicton Park Botanical Gardens near Sidmouth, Devon. 

Mr Meston, 32, said: ‘The cygnets had been splashing in the water around their mum. They looked like they were starting to get tired and one by one started to scramble up on their mum’s back. She didn’t mind at all and even gave them a nudge up.’

The father of three from Bournemouth added: ‘After they got settled in, she covered them with her wings protectively like a cushion and went on her way.'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1203971/All-aboard-Mother-swan-takes-babies-wing-trip-pond.html

I find these images much more poignant because although the picture of the colorful bird shows its protection of the babies under its wings, the image of the mother swan shows how God not only protects us but He CARRIES us during those hardest times. Just like the mommy swan, He sees our struggles, picks us up and carries us when we begin to get tired. He is our ever faithful daddy whose love never fails. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." I pray you, too, will find your comfort and peace under His wings!  

Have a blessed day!

The Ketchup to my Fries

Yes, I am a self-proclaimed "foodie," but I must confess one of my guilty pleasures in life is french fries. I LOVE fries!!! Take away all sweets but don't mess with my fries! I love the crunchy salty ones the best...YUM! But, as delicious as fries are to me, there's one thing that ALWAYS makes them better: ketchup! Ketchup and fries have been going together since...well, let's just say it's been quite the relationship between those two!

It is so interesting to me that my little guy LOVES fries and ketchup: together AND separately. No doubt, though, fries and ketchup are his preferred food on this planet. I was thinking about this and came to the conclusion that my husband and I are like fries and ketchup. Confused? Well, I'd like to think that by myself I'm pretty good (like fries) but it is my husband who, like the ketchup to the fries, makes me better. He is "the ketchup to my fries!" The little man loves us both separately but no doubt that when he's with his mommy and daddy he is in heaven!

Not a lot of people know, or remember, how my hubby and I ended up here. We grew up together as kids (not really liking each other much) and stayed connected for years through the church. In the early 90's I found my best friend, my BFF...and that was him! This August we celebrated 14 years of marriage. We've sure had some ups and downs but through it all he has held my hand and pulled me through. He almost lost me right after I gave birth, but God allowed me to stay here on earth to enjoy a lifetime with my best friend and our little bundle of joy...yet joy was not quite what we felt after our new addition came along. He was fussy, cried more than most babies and seemed to have inherited the most annoying traits from every possible family member! He was a tough baby, not one you could just leave with a sitter. Well, there went our private time for each other! When the "A bomb" dropped (diagnosis) we were both relieved but terrified of what was to come and what it would do to our marriage!

My husband is the BEST daddy I know!!! He has sacrificed so much and works so hard for our family. He is 200% dedicated to the little man's care and manages to take care of me in the process. I sometimes jokingly ask him to show me the "S" on his chest. Surely only a superhero can handle everything he does: provider, caregiver, homemaker (yes, it's true!), financial planner, handyman, car mechanic, sound engineer, plumber, electrician and official bug squisher! And that's only a portion of what he does! He is a good man, a good God-fearing Christian man who carries my load so I can be the best mommy possible to our little guy.

I am so blessed to have such an amazing man, not just as my husband, but as my best friend. In this crazy puzzle we live in we often get so overwhelmed by caring for our children that the most important people pay the price. I guess that's why the divorce rates are so high in families who have children with special needs. My husband is the ketchup to my fries because he makes me a better person and a better mom. I am usually too exhausted to show him, yet day after day he is there to hold my hand and pull me through while carrying all our loads!

I know it was God, alone, who brought us together. He joined us in this beautiful union and chose us to be this little guy's mommy and daddy. I know I have not held my end of the bargain on many, many days and I just pray that God continues to strengthen the bond between us as we walk this crazy journey together.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor; for if they fall, one will lift up his companion... Again, if the two lie down together, they will keep warm... Though one is overpowered by another, two can withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NJKV)

No burning bush...but pretty darn cool!

Hi all!  So, as you all saw my last post was pretty deep... one of the hardest posts I've written so far. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you will know that I am always stressing the need to spend quality, intimate time with the Lord in order to find peace in this crazy journey. I spent some quality time with my God last night, asking Him for guidance and protection over my beautiful boy. This morning, the first song that came on my iPod was "Sin Dolor"(Without Pain) by Lilly Goodman. I've said in my previous posts that I'm not one to talk about visions or burning bushes, but this was pretty darn cool!  Once you read the lyrics you will understand.  I hope they will be a blessing to you in your own walk through the puzzle.

General message of the song in English:

Without pain, there is no gain. Everything worth fighting for in life has a price, even if we stumble along the way. What good is it to win, if it was so easy to reach your goal? You don't want to go through struggles, but sometimes they serve as means to awaken gifts hidden inside of you... and move you out of complacency that keeps you in your comfort zone. Remember these struggles will only push you further towards your goal. I know sometimes we have to take the hits in order to grow and be able to mature, otherwise we won't know how to manage what is to come... and even though the pain in that moment is so cruel, God will not leave you there longer than what you can take!

Have a blessed week!
DC

Lyrics in Spanish:
No, sin dolor no hay ganador. Todo cuesta un valor por el que hay que luchar, a pesar de tropezar. ¿De qué importaría ganar si fue tan fácil llegar a la meta? ¿y al final, que más habrá? No quieres pasar dificultad pero a veces servirá para despertar el don que dentro hay. Y salir de la comodidad que te aferra a ese lugar y a la meta con firmeza avanzar. Sí, lo sé, a veces hay que ser golpeado para poder crecer y alcanzar un poco más de madurez, porque no habría forma de saber manejar lo que vendrá. Y aunque el dolor en esos tiempos puede ser tan cruel, pero Dios no nos dejará permanecer allá mas tiempo del que podamos soportar.
Video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbdQVmqrANg

Running in Mud

As I previously posted, we had our fundraising walk for Autism Speaks a week ago this Sunday. After our yard sale and a few more donations, our team has raised almost $6000! Thank you to everyone who contributed!!!!!

The walk was fun...the kids had an AMAZING time! I was really pleasantly surprised by how much they enjoyed themselves.  It was also so refreshing to be surrounded by people who understand our lives and sport so many of the same 'war wounds'.  Interestingly enough, our team kids (well, the boys mostly) had the most fun being able to run aimlessly in the muddy sandy track. It seemed like the messier and dirtier they got, the more their joy and laughter multiplied... exponentially... and it was contagious! Before we knew it, the adults were hopping and skipping and our dirty shoes were no longer a big deal. We trekked happily across the finish line!

Running in muddy sand really is NOT a pleasurable experience to the average person. It is messy, dirty, uncomfortable and it requires exerting much more strength (and breath) than walking on dry ground. Be prepared to take MUCH longer to get to your destination than you imagined.  One thing is for sure, though, you will get there with really tired, but stronger, legs!

I frequently say that my life feels like I'm running in mud. Life with a toddler is exhausting but life with a toddler with an autism spectrum disorder...well, let's just say it's like running in mud--while juggling! My husband often says that it feels like 10 years since our little man was born. I really can't remember ever feeling like he is growing up too fast. My friends don't quite understand this feeling, but I think it's just like the feeling after walking around that sandy, muddy track. We've gone the same exact distance as everyone else but we seem to be twice as tired. At the end of each week, we feel like we've run a marathon... in the mud.

I know this process is making me stronger, yet I can't say that I've reached the point of finding joy in this "mud" that is slowing down the pace of our lives. Each new day I just pick up and keep running, always only getting part of the way than I'd hoped to cover.  Looking back does no good, except sometimes to see the huge pits, ditches and puddles we've made it through... that does provide some momentum for the journey!

When I originally wrote this post I was neck high in one of the nastiest points in our walk through our little man's early education. Although nothing has changed, today I am thankful that the long weekend has allowed me to catch my breath, enjoy some real quality time with my boy and recharge for a new week full of battles. But... I am tired and I am weary.  I am tired of psyching myself up to hear the worst only to still have my heart shattered by more bad news about his days at school. It's the same exact feeling I get each Sunday when we try, unsuccessfully, to get the little guy to be a part of Sunday school. I try to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and put them back together but it's like picking up some muddy sand: it dries out and slips through my fingers, taking with it my hopes and piling back up on the ground, drowning out the light at the end of my tunnel.

I dream of the day when I don't have to cringe during school pick-ups, bracing myself to hear the events (or "episodes") of the day. I desire to have my son included at our church, like the other kids are... but that's just not our reality right now. I know our "normal" is different. This path takes strength and persistence just like it did to walk over a mile in that mud. Just like the adults at the walk, groaning and moaning about their dirty, wet and uncomfortable journey, I just can't help but grumble each time I hear that my child is having meltdowns more often than not when he is not with us. How does a parent get used to constantly having their heart broken? I don't think I know that yet...

A beautiful sister in Christ from our church has a son with ASD. He is now about to transition to adulthood... she has asked that a few of us get together to chat and try to support each other. She confesses that she does not profess to be an "expert," but would like to share the wisdom she's gathered from her own journey. In my own suffering, I see this beautiful person digging a tiny hole through the pile of sand blocking out my light... she is on the other side of this path and is reminding me that there are people there to see me through. God sends His angels to remind us that we are not alone.  Time and time again, this is how He lifts me up, cleans me off and places me back onto steady ground.  I believe this is what David referred to when he wrote in Psalms 40:1-3. I sang this Psalm so many times in my youth, yet it is not until now that it rings so true in my life.  This is my prayer today and I share the passage with you: "I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth— Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the LORD."

Be blessed!
DC

Our Team "Peace in the Puzzle"

And so it begins...

Hi All!!!  It is time for me to take my own medicine because we are in the midst of a really tough situation with Nathan at school right now.  When God has you in a situation but doesn't open any other doors you realize there is something to be learned, done or taught in the process.  I believe in my heart that we are where we are to effect some change in our preschool to benefit others in the future.  We will stand strong!

My job has also been quite tough and last week was especially stressful. Politics, politics... it is NEVER the kids that push me over the edge!  In all, I am thankful for God's peace: staying calm, only crying a little bit and remaining objective towards achieving my goal!

Unlike similar situations in the past, I am at peace.  It must be that "tough skin" I was talking about in my last post.  I have my ducks in a row, my home team is lined up and we're ready to take this on head-on!!!  I have an amazing couple as my faith partners and prayer warriors. It never ceases to amaze me how God always moves them to act right when I need it when they live miles away and we barely speak. Just yesterday, as I finished firing my emails to the "powers that be" getting ready for another crazy week, I get an email from my friend sharing this link... another family on this path. And there it was: I'm not alone and God is with me!  I share this wonderful website with you: http://thepacepack.com/index.html

I am happy to report that our new special needs ministry, CLJ Buddies, started this past Sunday and was successful!  I am so thankful to God and continue to pray that this will all move smoothly. So far we have 11 people interested in working with us! And God continues to give me peace.  Please send me a message if you want more information!

I am also happy to report that our walk for Autism Speaks is this Sunday and our team has raised almost $5,000!!!!  Praise God!!!!  I can't take any of the credit because one family did the most amazing job at fundraising that I've ever seen!  I am so proud to be on their team! If you are interested in making a donation, please feel free to visit our team page: http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/greaterboston/peaceinthepuzzle

This is not my most eloquent post, nor do I have any witty prose to share with you because I am spent. Our God is an awesome God and He is there to pick us up when we fall down... and when we feel most lost and alone is when He is right by our side.  When the world is crumbling around us we are in His pocket of protection and stand firm holding on to His promises.  This, too, shall pass.  I choose peace, determination and faith. Who's with me???

Blessings!
DC

Old Shoes

Ok, so we all have them...our favorite broken in old shoes that our feet just slide into as if they were a custom-made second skin... You know the ones!

I LOVE my old shoes!!! I have loved and worn them so much that they are no longer wearable. Yes, it is very sad. I hate change! I liked how these used to fit! They were perfect! I didn't even have to lace or buckle them anymore... they beckoned to be worn like slippers made in Heaven!  But those same comfy familiar old shoes now actually hurt my feet. I keep trying to convince myself that it may be my mind playing tricks on me.  "Maybe my feet are just swollen," I try to reason, or "it was just more humid today"...they were still my same old friends! Yet each time I attempted to wear them I felt that same pinch, poke or rub from the worn down materials, telling me they were ready to move on to retirement.

So it's time find a new pair of shoes...not pleasurable but necessary. After what seemed like an endless endeavor I found some I liked. They're not bad... they're actually pretty good! Then it happens: the blisters! A couple of bandaids later I realize these new shoes actually feel pretty darn good, maybe even better than the old ones ever felt...and suddenly my feet have made new best friends!  Those of you who are regular readers of my blog probably know where this is going, but here's a curve ball: sometimes those new shoes don't stop hurting for a long time.

One of my favorite secular singers, Sade, has a beautifully poignant song called "Pearls" that I'd like to dedicate to every mom of a child with special needs. Listen closely to the words. The lyrics are so multidimensional that it may stir a potpourri of emotions and feelings about yourself, about all mothers who struggle, about families in Africa...it may even make you see your life from a different angle and put things into perspective.  I purposely chose a video that has peaceful images unrelated to the song. I'd like for you to create your own mental images as you listen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC4jU6dk1oE&feature=related
Hearing Sade belt out that prayer from what seems like the innermost parts of her being stirs my soul every time I hear the song! Did you catch the part that says "Hurts like brand new shoes"?

This week our little man went back to school. Last week he started with a new "teacher" at home. All that was familiar to us is changing at it "hurts like brand new shoes." I've been reflecting on this. Much like the woman in the song we also "live a life we didn't choose" but "it's a force stronger than nature that keeps (our) will alive."  Now, don't get me wrong, I am NOT saying that having a child with special needs even comes close to what these women in Africa must endure to ensure the mere survival of their families. I just like the lyrics and can identify with certain parts of the song.  Let's all keep praying for the terrible famine in the African Horn. How many of us have found ourselves crying out to God in that moment of despair? "WHY?!?!?" is the default response when things don't go our way: bad things happen, plans change, etc.

Or lives are like those old comfy shoes. We'd stay in that same comfort zone forever... why even think of change? As parents of kids on the autism spectrum, it is SO easy to fall into that trap of just staying home where everything is safe, no one is judging or giving unsolicited advice, things are familiar and so much easier to control! But we inadvertently feed into our kids' rigidity and social disconnection, making it even harder to try something new and different or attend social events in the future.  I admit I fall into this trap quite frequently. Thankfully I am blessed with a husband who repeatedly gives me reality checks and pushes me to try things outside of my comfort zone. And guess what? More often than not, our little guy has loved it and so have I! When he hasn't loved it, we've at least tried something new and can chalk it up to experience! I am reminded to the beautiful book Dancing with Max by Emily Colson. She shares her experience of reaching that point in her life with her son, Max and describes the freedom and joy they discovered together.

When we get too comfy, God tosses little things in the way to get us to move, to change. But just like those old shoes you keep going back, convincing yourself that it's fine and that "things will go back to normal." Until the situation, much like those old shoes, becomes unbearable. God will keep sending louder messages until you have no choice but to dump the old and try the new. I'm sure you've heard the term "thicker skin." Well, thicker skin is officially/technically called a callous. Do you know how callouses develop? They are a result of repeated irritation, a sort of skin's defense mechanism of growing extra layers to.. guess what? PROTECT that same spot from harm the next time it's irritated. Hmm... you still asking "why?"

I can't say that our "new" right now will become "the" comfy place to be... we are still in the "oh, this is not so bad" stage.  I know there will be blisters, things that rub the wrong way and readjustments to make. But like the woman in the song, I will cry out "Halleluiah" to "the Heavens above" even when I feel like "there is a stone in my heart."  I'm "living a life (I) didn't choose... and it hurts like brand new shoes" but my song doesn't end there because I am trusting in God's promises: Hebrews 10:36-39, 1 Kings 8:56, Hebrews 6:13-20 .

Even if ultimately those "new shoes" don't end up as cozy as the old ones... be sure that God will toss in some "gel inserts" to help cushion your walk until your next new pair of shoes!

Have a blessed day!

Oh Love! (Reprise)

Hi everyone! In all our hectic lives, I realize my last post may have been way too long for most of us to read.  So I am reposting an abridged version of it today... If you read it and want to know more, check out the original post!

Have you seen the Disney/Pixar movie Rattatouille? There is a scene where Remy is trying to explain to his brother, Emille, how he sees colors and fireworks when he savors delicious food...and how the joy, pleasure and experience are enhanced by the complexity of combining certain flavors together (though his brother prefers to gulp down garbage).

Yes, I admit I am a foodie, or "food snob" as some have called me. My favorite pizza is called Figaro and is a coal brick oven roasted pie with no sauce but a delectable combination of prosciutto, fresh figs, shaved aged Parmesan cheese, gorgonzola and topped with fresh arugula. It's a meal I am just not able to experience without closing my eyes to savor every single one of the unique flavors that come together in such beautiful harmony that even after a few slices each bite is as good as the first.

This is exactly how I feel when I hear certain praise and worship songs. There are certain songs that I am just not able to fully appreciate without closing my eyes and reveling in every note that blends together with the others in a beautiful tapestry of expression towards our Lord Jesus Christ. By far, the song which inevitably triggers this effect is the Gaither Vocal Band's rendition of the classic hymn "Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go." I can't even listen while I drive because I have to stop to close my eyes and savor every note in the tantalizing arrangement of harmonies.

I decided to do some research online about the lyrics and history of this hymn.  The author, George Matheson, was going blind yet was said to have written this hymn in 5 minutes the night before his sister's wedding while he recalled being deserted by his fiancee who "refused to live life with a blind man."  Here is some of what I learned: Looking back over his life, he once wrote that his was “an obstructed life, a circumscribed life… but a life of quenchless hopefulness, a life which has beaten persistently against the cage of circumstance... How could he maintain quenchless hopefulness in the midst of such circumstances and trials? His hymn gives us a clue. “I trace the rainbow in the rain, and feel the promise is not vain” The rainbow image is not for him “If the Lord gives you lemons make lemonade” but a picture of the Lord’s commitment that he is with us, even through the flood!


WOW!!!! That is an AMAZING testimony of true peace in the midst of one's struggles. Today I leave you with a link to a fabulous interview with one of my favorite Christian artists, David Phelps, who just happened to begin his career with the Gaither Vocal Band and arranged their accapella version of this song. Towards the end of the interview he talks about the joy he felt creating this arrangement, taking every note as a different color with a paintbrush combining them into beautiful harmonies...WOW! Right after the interview you can hear them sing the song live...double WOW!!! Take a few minutes, turn up the sound and enjoy the beautiful masterpiece in honor of our Lord and Savior:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKAmREH5btQ&feature=related

Like Remy taking time to "savor" and truly experience every aspect of the art of food, we as Christians need to take the time to seek out, "savor" and truly experience our time with God.  This is what truly bring us to the place where we can experience the absolute joy and peace that only He can give us, like in the case of the author of this hymn.  Too often we are like Emille, gobbling down garbage that we think will feed our souls and bring us peace when it's just not what we need... or worse, to just "dabble" in our time with God and only get to see a mere glimmer of the beauty in the experience.  Our lives are crazy, our lives are stressed... and the only way we can make it through is to seek His face, intimate time with our Lord, in order to get the peace we need and recharge our batteries to take on another day.  I pray this brief anecdote will help you reflect in the time you share with God.
Have a  blessed day!

Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go

Have you seen the Disney/Pixar movie Rattatouille? There is a scene where Remy is trying to explain to his brother how he sees colors and fireworks when he savors delicious food...and how the joy, pleasure and experience are enhanced by the complexity of combining certain flavors together.
Remy seeing colors
Remy teaching Emille

Yes, I admit I am a foodie, or "food snob" as some have called me. My favorite pizza is called Figaro and is a coal brick oven roasted pie with no sauce but a delectable combination of prosciutto, fresh figs, shaved aged Parmesan cheese, gorgonzola and topped with fresh arugula. It's a meal I am just not able to experience without closing my eyes to savor every single one of the unique flavors that come together in such beautiful harmony that even after a few slices each bite is as good as the first.

This is exactly how I feel when I hear certain praise and worship songs. There are certain songs that I am just not able to fully appreciate without closing my eyes and reveling in every note that blends together with the others in a beautiful tapestry of expression towards our Lord Jesus Christ. By far, the song which inevitably triggers this effect is the Gaither Vocal Band's rendition of the classic hymn "Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go." I can't even listen while I drive because I have to stop to close my eyes and savor every note in the tantalizing arrangement of harmonies. Today I decided to do some research online about the lyrics and history of this hymn. Here is what I learned...lyrics AND history:

O Love, that wilt not let me go
by George Matheson

O Love that wilt not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

History of Hymn
“O Love That Will Not Let Me Go” written on the evening of Matheson’s sister’s marriage. His whole family had gone to the wedding and left him alone. He writes of something which happened to him that caused immense mental anguish. There is a story of how years before, he had been engaged until his fiancé learned that he was going blind and there was nothing the doctors could do. She told him that she could not go through life with a blind man. He went blind while studying for the ministry, and his sister had been the one who had taken care of him all these years, but now she is gone. He had been a brilliant student, some say that if he hadn’t gone blind he could have been the leader of the church of Scotland in his day. He had written a learned work on German theology and then wrote “The Growth of The Spirit of Christianity.” Louis Benson says this was a brilliant book but with some major mistakes in it. When some critics pointed out the mistakes and charged him with being an inaccurate student he was heartbroken. One of his friends wrote, “When he saw that for the purposes of scholarship his blindness was a fatal hindrance, he withdrew from the field – not without pangs, but finally.” So he turned to the pastoral ministry, and the Lord richly blessed him, finally bringing him to a church where he regularly preached to over 1500 people each week. But he was only able to do this because of the care of his sister and now she was married and gone. Who will care for him, a blind man? Not only that, but his sister’s marriage brought fresh reminder of his own heartbreak, over his fiancé’s refusal to “go through life with a blind man.” It is in the midst of this circumstance and intense sadness that the Lord gives him this hymn – written, he says, in 5 minutes! Looking back over his life, he once wrote that his was “an obstructed life, a circumscribed life… but a life of quenchless hopefulness, a life which has beaten persistently against the cage of circumstance, and which even at the time of abandoned work has said not “Good night” but “Good morning.” How could he maintain quenchless hopefulness in the midst of such circumstances and trials? His hymn gives us a clue. “I trace the rainbow in the rain, and feel the promise is not vain” The rainbow image is not for him “If the Lord gives you lemons make lemonade” but a picture of the Lord’s commitment! It is a picture of the battle bow that appears when the skies are darkening and threaten to open up and flood the world again in judgment. But then we see that the battle bow is turned not towards us – but toward the Lord Himself!

Matheson said about this hymn:

My hymn was com­posed in the manse of In­ne­lan [Ar­gyle­shire, Scot­land] on the ev­en­ing of the 6th of June, 1882, when I was 40 years of age. I was alone in the manse at that time. It was the night of my sister’s mar­ri­age, and the rest of the fam­i­ly were stay­ing over­night in Glas­gow. Some­thing hap­pened to me, which was known only to my­self, and which caused me the most se­vere men­tal suf­fer­ing. The hymn was the fruit of that suf­fer­ing. It was the quick­est bit of work I ever did in my life. I had the im­press­ion of hav­ing it dic­tat­ed to me by some in­ward voice ra­ther than of work­ing it out my­self. I am quite sure that the whole work was com­plet­ed in five min­utes, and equal­ly sure that it ne­ver re­ceived at my hands any re­touch­ing or cor­rect­ion. I have no na­tur­al gift of rhy­thm. All the other vers­es I have ever writ­ten are man­u­fact­ured ar­ti­cles; this came like a day­spring from on high.

WOW!!!! That is an AMAZING testimony of true peace in the midst of one's struggles. Today I leave you with a link to a fabulous interview with one of my favorite Christian artists, David Phelps, who just happened to begin his career with the Gaither Vocal Band and arranged their accapella version of this song. Towards the end of the interview he talks about the joy he felt creating this arrangement, taking every note as a different color with a paintbrush combining them into beautiful harmonies...WOW! Right after the interview you can hear them sing the song live...double WOW!!! Take a few minutes, turn up the sound and enjoy the beautiful masterpiece in honor of our Lord and Savior:
Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go- Performed by The Gaither Vocal Band, Arranged by David Phelps

Like Remy, taking time to "savor" and truly experience every aspect of the art of food, we as Christians need to take the time to seek out, "savor" and truly experience our time with God.  This is what truly bring us to the place where we can experience the absolute joy and peace that only He can give us, like in the case of the author of this hymn.  Too often we are like Emille, gobbling down garbage that we think will feed our souls and bring us peace when it's just not what we need... or worse, to just "dabble" in our time with God and only get to see a mere glimmer of the beauty in the experience.  Our lives are crazy, our lives are stressed... and the only way we can make it through is to seek His face, intimate time with our Lord, in order to get the peace we need and recharge our batteries to take on another day.  I pray this brief anecdote will help you reflect in the time you share with God.
Have a  blessed day!

The Family Vacation: Blame it on Cancun!

Hi Everyone!  I wanted to share a wonderful short/mini video that my husband made on iMovie from the video we took on our vacation.  I hope you love it as much as we do!

Cancun Trailer

Have a blessed day!