Hi all! These great stories just keep rolling in!!! Here is another GREAT one! Be blessed!
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700207763/Unsettling-season-Noisy-bright-busy-holidays-are-challenge-for-families-of-children-with-autism.html
Monday, December 19, 2011
From the Autism Support Network: Enjoying the Holidays with an autistic child
Great article from the ASN! Acceptance is a big part of finding peace in parenting a child with an autism spectrum disorder. I often talk about how important it was for us to learn what worked for Nathan rather than making him fit our mold. Here's some food for though (read below). Blessings!
Read more: http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/enjoying-holidays-autistic-child-938927781#ixzz1h1m4fyuk
Enjoying the holidays with an autistic child
Lisa Jo Rudy
Question: How can we possibly enjoy the holidays with an autistic child?
Answer: From Dr. Cindy Ariel:
Holidays are often filled with stress. It takes work to make a beautiful and fun holiday for yourself and those around you. There is a lot of pressure to make the holidays perfect and fun, and to enjoy yourself while you're doing it. This is a tall order in any situation, but when you add to that the stress of having a child with special needs for whom you also want the holidays to be perfect and fun, it can become more overwhelming than ever.
Everything needs readjusting in your family life these days, and of course you are left with the emotions of it all. It is on you to make warm experiences for your family and new traditions that will help them to feel good about these family years. It's a huge adjustment. It's important at this time to sit back for a few minutes and backtrack just a little. What is it about the holidays that you've always enjoyed? Special foods? Pretty decorations? Certain activities? The gifts? All of it? Whatever it is, start there.
Focus on a few things you know are important to make sure you have prepared around this time. Of course, some things may need modification so that it is possible to enjoy them with your child with special needs. For example, if there is a danger of them hurting themselves on fragile decorations you may have to put them higher up and out of reach, or get new ones that are not so fragile. Some special foods may not be be served. These modifications often bring us disappointment but if the goal is a nice family holiday, it's important and we can adjust.
Make the demands on yourself realistic and don't try to do so much that you feel only frustration. Make realistic lists and work on things one at a time. Looking at a whole month of this holiday season is less overwhelming if you take it in small pieces. You may also have to lower your expectations of what you can really do, but at least what you do will be less stressful and make the holidays special.
Now for tackling the gifts. Again, you may have to step back and change your expectations. Think about your child and what will put a smile on his/her face. Maybe they can't handle the new games that every other kid is playing this year, or the current popular book series, or new sports equipment. But they may be thrilled with a cushy new ball, a big soft beanbag chair to flop on, a favorite food (within their dietary constraints), or even an hour away from all the noise and confusion to walk in brisk weather or slide in the playground. It's not what you hoped, but this part is not just about you. It's about how you can give everyone in your family some warm holiday experiences, and feel good about them and yourself in the process.
These may not be the holidays you once had, or dreamed of for your family. But you can still offer your family the love and warmth and smiles that the holiday glow that many of us carry within us is really all about.
From Dr. Robert Naseef:
Whenever I talk with parents, no other question is pregnant with quite so much emotion. No matter what tradition you celebrate - Chanukah, Christmas, Ramadan, or Kwanza - this can be a difficult time of year. Images of warm cozy family life fill our heads. It's a time to be close, to give thanks, and to look forward. It's a time to celebrate the lives of children, a time that families get together and assess where they are, notice changes and remember losses. There are many dimensions to the holiday season as visions of our own childhood holidays dance in our heads, but there is a special twist when your child is not developing typically. How we handle these times can set us up for a depressing winter season, or it can be an opportunity for growth and love. To grow, we have to acknowledge the often painful loss of the child we dreamed of and the challenges of having a child who is very different from what we imagined. After all, what parent doesn't look forward and envision an excited child having fun with new toys?
A thoughtful mother told me how she was enjoying the holidays this year as opposed to watching her son ignore his toys while she wept. She had learned to be realistic, now that her son who has autism is four. She wanted to buy him that first remote controlled car for four-to-six year olds, but instead she bought him some toys labeled 12-18 months that she knew he would enjoy. She also knows she will enjoy him this way, and she has the hope that he will develop from where he is, especially by becoming interested and having fun interacting with the rest of the family.
This woman loves her son dearly and has learned through her tears and grief to dream new dreams. She is now looking forward to being on the floor with him and following his lead in play. This process of letting go and moving on takes time, but most people do get there. Children with special needs have so much to teach their parents and the rest of society, particularly about accepting our differences and living in peace and harmony.
Holiday time is exciting for children, and children with special needs are no different. About 10-12 percent of school-aged children have disabilities and will receive holiday gifts this season. As opposed to wishing and pushing for a child to be normal, acceptance of the child where he or she is encourages further development. This brings us to an important lesson that all children can teach us in this current season for giving. More than the new toys, it is their parents’ time and attention that is so exciting and wonderful for children. It is the fuel for their development into kind and giving little people. In the consumer-driven rush this holiday season, let's not forget what’s really important. Let's connect with mind and heart to our families and friends and all whose lives we touch. Let's spend quality time together. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote many years ago, "The only true gift is a portion of thyself."
Robert Naseef, Ph.D., and Cindy Ariel, Ph.D., are the co-editors of "Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People With Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom" (2006). On the web at www.alternativechoices.com.
Courtesy of Lisa Jo Rudy About.com, A NY Times Company.
Read more: http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/enjoying-holidays-autistic-child-938927781#ixzz1h1m4fyuk
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Love Came Down- Devotional from DaySpring
Preparing for the holidays is primarily a preparing of the heart.
Because what comes down is love, and the way to receive love isn't to wrap anything up - but to unwrap your heart.
Because what comes down is love, and the way to receive love isn't to wrap anything up - but to unwrap your heart.
Advent - this is the season of preparing that prepares us for any season of life - because we are preparing our lives for Christ to enter in - which prepares for us the life without end. Is that the ultimate purpose of this life - the preparing for the next life?
Is this why Christmas, Advent, unlike any other time of year, glimmers with a glimpse of heaven - because it's the time of year we're fulfilling our purpose, preparing for Christ and His coming again? The Christmas tree's been lit for weeks, a beacon, a preparing, an anticipation. Why is it easier to make Christmas cookies than to make our hearts ready for Christ?
Is getting ready for Christmas as simple and difficult as simply sitting stilled before the cradle of Christ?
And yet. Love came down and "He came to His own people, and His own people did not receive him." (John 1:11)
Love came down - and his own people did not recognize Him.
Love came down - and His own people did not want what He offered.
The Messiah came down and He wasn't received as the Messiah - and Love comes down and who receives all the moments as His love?
And yet. Love came down and "He came to His own people, and His own people did not receive him." (John 1:11)
Love came down - and his own people did not recognize Him.
Love came down - and His own people did not want what He offered.
The Messiah came down and He wasn't received as the Messiah - and Love comes down and who receives all the moments as His love?
-Devotion excerpt by Ann Voskamp, author of the blog A Holy Experience and the New York Times Bestseller One Thousand Gifts: A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Heavenly Peace by Nicole Johnson
Another FANTASTIC meditation by Women of Faith. So appropriate for this blog. Enjoy!
Sitting in front of the Christmas tree in the dark is one of the simplest and best gifts of the holiday season to me. The house is quiet and still and the lights seem brighter as the ornaments pick up the sparkle.
Unfortunately, quiet and still aren’t usually the words I associate with Christmas. It’s my own fault but frankly it is one the busiest time of the year for me. It is full of wonderful things that I love to do, like baking and shopping for just the right gift, but somehow in the middle of all the “wonderful,” I just plain lose the wonder.
Amid the hustle and bustle that is Christmas these days, the child in the manger is often lost in the shuffle or even trampled in the clamoring of shopping. Santa Clauses on the street selling cars or advertising this week’s special, spur us on toward stuff and away from the sacred. But not tonight.
Silent Night is playing in my head as I sit quietly. This beautiful and simple hymn gently beckons me to stillness as I peer into the manger. No rushing here, no clamoring, just a holy infant, so tender and mild, ushering in the opportunity for the world, and me, to sleep in heavenly peace.
And isn’t that what we need tonight? Far from sleeping in heavenly peace, many are in the clutches of sleepless nights over lost jobs, lost houses, lost 401ks, and lost Christmas dreams. Such difficult times do not promote sleep or peace, but both can still be found for those who seek. Maybe not in the kind of gifts that come wrapped in shiny paper, this divine gift comes to us wrapped only in the swaddling rags of humanity—as a gift that can bring heavenly peace to earthly hearts.
Far from the mall and closer to the manger, the real hope of Christmas is rekindled in my cold, consumer-driven, perfectionist heart. I unplug the tree and invite the holy child to lay down his sweet head in the straw of my heart and head to bed with heavenly peace.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Advent has begun!
The wonderful Christmas season has begun. Every year since Nathan was born, we have taken the Advent season as a time for family devotionals and sharing together. We start on December 1st and continue until Christmas Day. It is a beautiful way of sharing together and getting ready for the grand celebration of Jesus' birth.
Last night we began Advent night #1. We watched a beautiful DVD about the Nativity and talked about the angel Gabriel (also the topic from Sunday school last Sunday). We are focusing on the verse "Your king is coming" Matthew 21:5... even though that verse is found in the context of the Triumphal Entry, it serves as a wonderful way of helping Nathan understand that we are waiting for the "arrival" of our King, Jesus Christ.
It always amazes me how Nathan can be so hyperactive and as soon as I put on the Nativity DVD he sits on the couch in awe. I sit with him and highlight the scenes and characters that we are focusing on that night. Last night it was Gabriel and Zacharias. I use our own family pictures to help him make connections: Zacharias was Mary's uncle, like Nathan's uncles Scott and Dave. It really is a beautiful way to share... and looking at the pictures helps Nathan preview all the family members we will celebrate Christmas with. It's a win-win!
I found these great inexpensive craft kits that we could make together as a family. Last night we made our angel Gabriel and practiced our verse. I hope to take pictures of Nathan each night to document Advent this year. Trying to get him to sit still for the camera was quite an adventure but ended up being a whole lot of fun! Unfortunately for the craft angel, Nathan had a blast whipping it around like a fan towel at a NBA game... and it held up! Here is a sequence of pictures I was able to take... hope they bring a smile to your face, too! Blessings!
Last night we began Advent night #1. We watched a beautiful DVD about the Nativity and talked about the angel Gabriel (also the topic from Sunday school last Sunday). We are focusing on the verse "Your king is coming" Matthew 21:5... even though that verse is found in the context of the Triumphal Entry, it serves as a wonderful way of helping Nathan understand that we are waiting for the "arrival" of our King, Jesus Christ.
It always amazes me how Nathan can be so hyperactive and as soon as I put on the Nativity DVD he sits on the couch in awe. I sit with him and highlight the scenes and characters that we are focusing on that night. Last night it was Gabriel and Zacharias. I use our own family pictures to help him make connections: Zacharias was Mary's uncle, like Nathan's uncles Scott and Dave. It really is a beautiful way to share... and looking at the pictures helps Nathan preview all the family members we will celebrate Christmas with. It's a win-win!
I found these great inexpensive craft kits that we could make together as a family. Last night we made our angel Gabriel and practiced our verse. I hope to take pictures of Nathan each night to document Advent this year. Trying to get him to sit still for the camera was quite an adventure but ended up being a whole lot of fun! Unfortunately for the craft angel, Nathan had a blast whipping it around like a fan towel at a NBA game... and it held up! Here is a sequence of pictures I was able to take... hope they bring a smile to your face, too! Blessings!
Getting ready for Christmas!
Hi everybody! Sorry I have been gone for so long... I was actually taking some of my blog posts and expanding them into a book for an amateur book publishing contest through Women of Faith! Very exciting! We'll know in the spring who the winner is!!! To me it was just a wonderful blessing to see on paper the AMAZING things God has done for me and for my family to prepare for this journey and once we were on it.
Women of Faith just sent out a fantastic email this week that I wanted to share with you. All the credits are listed at the bottom. Enjoy and God bless you!
C – Center your heart on the deeper meaning of the holidays. This will help everyone become easier to get along with because the heart of the holiday will remain intact.
H – Hear what your friends and family are voicing as their stress, and listen carefully to them—a gift that will lower their stress.
R – Reach out as a family to help others in order to keep the proper perspective on what is really important in life.
I – Invest in memories, not material goods. Make time for family baking, tree decorating, or board games.
S – Speak your love in words. The best gift you can give is for a person to hear their value and worth from your lips.
T – Take time for romance. The greatest gift you can give your children is a happy marriage.
M – Make time to reach out to extended family. Visit or call grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
A – Assume nothing; ask those who are celebrating with you what their expectations are, and communicate the plan clearly so people feel informed.
S – Stay flexible. Don’t be a Christmas boss, ordering family around. Instead slow the pace, gather consensus, and give options so that you create an environment of connecting and sharing.
Women of Faith just sent out a fantastic email this week that I wanted to share with you. All the credits are listed at the bottom. Enjoy and God bless you!
C – Center your heart on the deeper meaning of the holidays. This will help everyone become easier to get along with because the heart of the holiday will remain intact.
H – Hear what your friends and family are voicing as their stress, and listen carefully to them—a gift that will lower their stress.
R – Reach out as a family to help others in order to keep the proper perspective on what is really important in life.
I – Invest in memories, not material goods. Make time for family baking, tree decorating, or board games.
S – Speak your love in words. The best gift you can give is for a person to hear their value and worth from your lips.
T – Take time for romance. The greatest gift you can give your children is a happy marriage.
M – Make time to reach out to extended family. Visit or call grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
A – Assume nothing; ask those who are celebrating with you what their expectations are, and communicate the plan clearly so people feel informed.
S – Stay flexible. Don’t be a Christmas boss, ordering family around. Instead slow the pace, gather consensus, and give options so that you create an environment of connecting and sharing.
Excerpted from Simplify Your Holidays © 2008 Marcia Ramsland. Published in Nashville, Tennessee by Thomas Nelson. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
A Lump of Clay
Just recently I received a catalog for the fall recreational activities available at a local organization for children with special needs. Adapted swim, music therapy and a kids' clay/pottery class piqued my interest. Swimming and clay were my two picks, since each of these activities provide the best sensory input/experience. Music therapy may be a bit too much for my little one's sensitive ears but we're looking into it! The little man's school is concerned that he is not involved in more small group activities with other kids his age. They are also concerned that school is the only time he is away from his family, which may be negatively influencing his behaviors at school due to separation anxiety. Well, I actually don't know of very many other 3-year-olds who spend extensive periods of time away from their family other than when they are in school or daycare...but that may just be me digressing again! We are trying to find more supervised group activities for the little guy to do. Guess what, though? For his age group, all the available activities require... yup, you guessed it: PARENT OR FAMILY PARTICIPATION. Talk about frustrating! We DO want to find more opportunities for the little man to swim and/or play in the water because he loves it so much and it is excellent physical and sensory exercise. We're working on it...
The clay class sounds interesting. Had I not taken pottery/clay classes before I would think it was a terrible safety hazard to offer this as an option for kids on the autism spectrum. When I look back and remember my high school clay pottery class... I LOVED IT!!! To this day I still have the hiddeously clunky and heavy creations I so lovingly put together. I loved the class so much I just kept making more and more pieces. My poor family was bombarded with my "works of art." I do have to say some of my pieces were quite nice and quite practical...the others ended up becoming colorful paper weights. Anyway, the wonderful thing about clay is that it is an extremely "forgiving" medium to work with. If you don't like your first creation, you just re-mold it into something new! For kids who have difficulties "committing" their artwork onto paper because of the anxiety of its permanence, clay is the way to go!
One thing about clay: it is hard! Not difficult, but hard in consistency. You have to knead it for long periods of time in order to get it warm enough and make it softer. For kids on the spectrum all that squeezing offers great sensory input! Pulling and ripping the clay apart can also be extremely therapeutic, not just sensory-wise but also to relieve stress, anxiety, anger and frustration! Most therapeutic is the initial process of preparing the clay. You have to throw the clay really hard onto the table or surface you are working on. You MUST do this over and over before you can even begin to work with the clay. All that banging squeezes any air bubbles out before you start creating your piece. Those tiny little air bubbles can wreak havoc in the kiln (oven) when the clay is baking. Even the tiniest of air bubbles can cause your piece to explode, shattering not only your work but every other project that is baking in the kiln along with it.
Hmm... that got me thinking... I've frequently referenced the "hits" our family has taken on this journey. Even way back when we were waiting to have a child we took some pretty hard hits. At the beginning I always asked myself (and God) "WHY?!?!?" Yet after every one of those occasions I've looked back and seen why. I can truthfully and honestly say that more often than not I ended up feeling thankful for those hits, because when things got really, really bad and even bigger trials came, I felt I had the resources I needed to make it through. I'd like to think it's like that lump of clay. Each of the hits are just preparing it to be molded and to withstand the heat in the oven before it can become a beautiful and useful vessel. Our lives are just like that lump of clay! Whatever the "hits" don't work the bubbles out of our systems can cause us to explode under pressure... and cause damage not only to ourselves but to those around us as well!
The Bible has so many references to clay using the imagery of God being the potter and us being the clay. In Isaiah 64:8 the prophet writes, "But now, Oh Lord, You [are] our Father; we [are] the clay and You our potter; and all we [are] the work of Your hand" (NKJV). In Jeremiah 18:4 we read, "And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make" (NKJV). Most poignant to me is the passage in Isaiah 29:16 which adds, "Surely you have things turned around! Shall the potter be esteemed as the clay; for shall the thing made say of him who made it 'He did not make me'? Or shall the thing formed say of him who formed it, 'He has no understanding'?" (NKJV). This is why I refuse to see my little guy as "missing a piece." I truly believe he was made just like God intended him to be. God makes no mistakes! All those hits we took early on as a family just prepared us for what was to come and to help us be the best parents possible to this amazing little boy!
BUT... before I could become a useful vessel to honor my Lord, I had to surrender my "lump of clay" and let Him make me into who I am and who He wanted me to be. "But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor," 2 Titus 2:20 (NKJV). I choose to hand my life, my lump of clay, over to the Master Potter for Him to make me into a useful vessel that will bring Him honor. I will also keep in mind that surrendering to Him is for my good, but also for the good of those around me (remember the air bubbles in the kiln?). On those especially tough days with the little man, I will remember that he, too, is a small lump of clay who is in the process of being molded. He has been entrusted to us for a while to make sure his "clay" is kept moist and malleable, not dry, brittle and useless. It is our job as his parents to do everything in our power to get him ready so when his time comes to take the hits of life he won't shatter but hopefully give himself to the Lord to become a useful vessel to His honor as valuable as gold.
Be blessed!
DC
The clay class sounds interesting. Had I not taken pottery/clay classes before I would think it was a terrible safety hazard to offer this as an option for kids on the autism spectrum. When I look back and remember my high school clay pottery class... I LOVED IT!!! To this day I still have the hiddeously clunky and heavy creations I so lovingly put together. I loved the class so much I just kept making more and more pieces. My poor family was bombarded with my "works of art." I do have to say some of my pieces were quite nice and quite practical...the others ended up becoming colorful paper weights. Anyway, the wonderful thing about clay is that it is an extremely "forgiving" medium to work with. If you don't like your first creation, you just re-mold it into something new! For kids who have difficulties "committing" their artwork onto paper because of the anxiety of its permanence, clay is the way to go!
One thing about clay: it is hard! Not difficult, but hard in consistency. You have to knead it for long periods of time in order to get it warm enough and make it softer. For kids on the spectrum all that squeezing offers great sensory input! Pulling and ripping the clay apart can also be extremely therapeutic, not just sensory-wise but also to relieve stress, anxiety, anger and frustration! Most therapeutic is the initial process of preparing the clay. You have to throw the clay really hard onto the table or surface you are working on. You MUST do this over and over before you can even begin to work with the clay. All that banging squeezes any air bubbles out before you start creating your piece. Those tiny little air bubbles can wreak havoc in the kiln (oven) when the clay is baking. Even the tiniest of air bubbles can cause your piece to explode, shattering not only your work but every other project that is baking in the kiln along with it.
Hmm... that got me thinking... I've frequently referenced the "hits" our family has taken on this journey. Even way back when we were waiting to have a child we took some pretty hard hits. At the beginning I always asked myself (and God) "WHY?!?!?" Yet after every one of those occasions I've looked back and seen why. I can truthfully and honestly say that more often than not I ended up feeling thankful for those hits, because when things got really, really bad and even bigger trials came, I felt I had the resources I needed to make it through. I'd like to think it's like that lump of clay. Each of the hits are just preparing it to be molded and to withstand the heat in the oven before it can become a beautiful and useful vessel. Our lives are just like that lump of clay! Whatever the "hits" don't work the bubbles out of our systems can cause us to explode under pressure... and cause damage not only to ourselves but to those around us as well!
The Bible has so many references to clay using the imagery of God being the potter and us being the clay. In Isaiah 64:8 the prophet writes, "But now, Oh Lord, You [are] our Father; we [are] the clay and You our potter; and all we [are] the work of Your hand" (NKJV). In Jeremiah 18:4 we read, "And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make" (NKJV). Most poignant to me is the passage in Isaiah 29:16 which adds, "Surely you have things turned around! Shall the potter be esteemed as the clay; for shall the thing made say of him who made it 'He did not make me'? Or shall the thing formed say of him who formed it, 'He has no understanding'?" (NKJV). This is why I refuse to see my little guy as "missing a piece." I truly believe he was made just like God intended him to be. God makes no mistakes! All those hits we took early on as a family just prepared us for what was to come and to help us be the best parents possible to this amazing little boy!
BUT... before I could become a useful vessel to honor my Lord, I had to surrender my "lump of clay" and let Him make me into who I am and who He wanted me to be. "But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor," 2 Titus 2:20 (NKJV). I choose to hand my life, my lump of clay, over to the Master Potter for Him to make me into a useful vessel that will bring Him honor. I will also keep in mind that surrendering to Him is for my good, but also for the good of those around me (remember the air bubbles in the kiln?). On those especially tough days with the little man, I will remember that he, too, is a small lump of clay who is in the process of being molded. He has been entrusted to us for a while to make sure his "clay" is kept moist and malleable, not dry, brittle and useless. It is our job as his parents to do everything in our power to get him ready so when his time comes to take the hits of life he won't shatter but hopefully give himself to the Lord to become a useful vessel to His honor as valuable as gold.
Be blessed!
DC
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Reflections through a kaleidoscope
As many of you know, we are a spanish-speaking family. When I tell my spanish-speaking friends about this blog I have "issues" with its name. See, the international symbol for ASD is a jigsaw puzzle... in spanish the word for that is "rompecabezas" which literally means head-breaker. Hmm... that does not quite work for me, so I use the word for a different type of puzzle: "laberinto" which means labyrinth. It's funny because when we were brainstorming ideas for our walk team name and logo, several team members had reservations about the visual portrayal of a puzzle that is missing a piece.
This got me thinking... as Christians we believe God has a perfect plan for everything (Jeremiah 30:17-20). Our children came to our families and homes as a part of God's master plan. A puzzle with a missing piece implies that our children are not complete and that we are on this endless search to find "the missing piece." I have issues with that! I don't think my son is incomplete! I think he sees the world differently than we do, like a kaleidoscope! So this journey we are on is more of a labyrinth, since we are faced with so many unexpected turns, obstacles and walls along the way. We as families are not "incomplete," we're just on a more complicated path than most.
I am frequently astounded by my little man's visual skills. He truly has a gift for the visual, though he struggles with language and social skills. This makes me wonder about the way kids with ASD view the world. I can only imagine what it must be like; Dr. Temple Grandin calls it "thinking in pictures"... only sometimes more like a picture viewed through a kaleidoscope. The world can be a crazy and scary place and when you have an altered view, I can only imagine it feels even worse!
Well, I have decided to stop thinking of my son as "missing a piece." I have decided that this journey may be a labyrinth, but God is waiting for us at the end with His arms wide open! I have decided that my life, my son's life, my family's life is not a web to sort out or a bunch of broken pieces to put together. It is a tapestry woven with every bit that each of member of our "team" has contributed! Right now it may look like an indiscernable compilation of intersecting strings but in my heart I can see the Lord holding the masterpiece in His hands, knowing in the end it will be one of a kind!
I have named this post "reflections through a kaleidoscope" because that is what this blog has become. Each post is a reflection of what I am learning on this journey. Right now it looks fragmented and confusing, like the view through a kaleidoscope, but it is a beautiful view when you stop to admire the combination of colors and designs. I am walking by faith with Jesus holding my hand. I may not be able to see straight but that's not for me to worry about... all I have to do is hold on tightly to His hand, trust in His promises and know that this is the life He chose for me (Psalm 121). One day I will be on the other side looking back and I WILL marvel at the perfect, one-of-a-kind masterpiece who is so aptly named "a gift from God"!
Be blessed!
DC
This got me thinking... as Christians we believe God has a perfect plan for everything (Jeremiah 30:17-20). Our children came to our families and homes as a part of God's master plan. A puzzle with a missing piece implies that our children are not complete and that we are on this endless search to find "the missing piece." I have issues with that! I don't think my son is incomplete! I think he sees the world differently than we do, like a kaleidoscope! So this journey we are on is more of a labyrinth, since we are faced with so many unexpected turns, obstacles and walls along the way. We as families are not "incomplete," we're just on a more complicated path than most.
I am frequently astounded by my little man's visual skills. He truly has a gift for the visual, though he struggles with language and social skills. This makes me wonder about the way kids with ASD view the world. I can only imagine what it must be like; Dr. Temple Grandin calls it "thinking in pictures"... only sometimes more like a picture viewed through a kaleidoscope. The world can be a crazy and scary place and when you have an altered view, I can only imagine it feels even worse!
Well, I have decided to stop thinking of my son as "missing a piece." I have decided that this journey may be a labyrinth, but God is waiting for us at the end with His arms wide open! I have decided that my life, my son's life, my family's life is not a web to sort out or a bunch of broken pieces to put together. It is a tapestry woven with every bit that each of member of our "team" has contributed! Right now it may look like an indiscernable compilation of intersecting strings but in my heart I can see the Lord holding the masterpiece in His hands, knowing in the end it will be one of a kind!
Be blessed!
DC
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| The little guy and Mama, Oct 2008 |
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
See...fly...punkin'!
I wrote this a few days ago but hadn't gotten around to sitting on the computer until now. I hope this is a blessing to your life!
October 30, 2011- After a week's drought from writing I've decided to write about two really cool things that made my week last week. They both had to do with two pretty cool kids with ASD and the life cycle of pumpkins. HUH?!?! Yup, you read right: PUMPKINS!
My little man has been studying the life cycle of the pumpkin at school. Now considering how much time he's been spending in "safe space" (i.e. time out) and/or having "interventions" for his behavior lately it was an incredibly pleasant SHOCK to hear that he was learning anything at all! But God is good and my baby IS learning! The little man brought home a large strip of red paper titled "Pumpkin Life Cycle." I asked him what it was and he said, "see, fly, punkin'" A bit confused I asked him again and he pointed at each of the shapes: see...fly...punkin'. HE WAS SAYING "SEED, FLOWER, PUMPKIN!!!!!" WOW!!! How cool is THAT?!?!? That paper is now on our refrigerator door and every day he reminds us of each of the stages, though now he's been able to work at it and say "seed, flowa, punkin" I'm SO proud! ;') That was cool moment #1.
Cool moment #2 happened at school while I worked in a first grade classroom with a little girl with ASD who has been having a REALLY hard time at school (sound familiar?). I felt honored to be able to witness this little girl who's had such a rough start to the year beam with pride as she colored, cut and pasted images of...guess what? The life cycle of the pumpkin! Her teacher, aide and I just cheered as she allowed us to offer suggestions and even help her fix each of the paper squares to fit onto a strip of paper. Her teacher made it "just right" so she could wear it as a headband/hat for the rest of the day! This was the FIRST time since September that I have seen the child be flexible, make steady eye contact, let someone help her and even dance for joy when her work was finished!
These two things got me thinking about kids like this little girl and my little man. Both of these kids have ASD and although they are incredibly bright their school experiences are so "colored" by their behavioral difficulties (did you know that was the case for Albert Einstein, too?). The joy of seeing these two kids beam with pride in their work is why I do what I do, why I've been at it for over 15 years and why I love it so much! These two kids are like the pumpkin seeds: they were planted, watered and cared for but something went awry along the way. When educators in their lives became blinded and overwhelmed by their behaviors, it's as if they'd thrown a tarp over the small pumpkin plant sprouting from the eart, stunting its growth. Without light or air, these little plants will wither and never give fruit! In contrast, when cared for, nourished and allowed to breathe and grow with the correct guidance, these little plants could end up producing record-breaking sized pumpkins (remember Albert Einstein?).
This reminds me of the many, many places in the Bible where plants and seeds are described and/or used as analogies (see list at the end of my post). Our spiritual lives are like these seeds: it is not enough to plant the seed and expect it to magically grow. We need to nourish that sproutlet! The stressors of life so often cover the light and air that we need to grow in Christ. Like the joy I felt in seeing these two amazing kids beam with pride at their accomplishments, I can only imagine God's joy when He sees us grow and give fruit against all odds! My prayer is that I can be a witness to many more of my little man's accomplishments and moments of pride. I pray that his school life no longer serves as that tarp that covers his air and light, stunting his joy and his growth. I pray that the stressors in MY life don't drown out the blessings and spiritual nourishment that God wants to pour out over my life and my family. I pray the same for you: that your seed grows into a beautiful flower and gives plenty of healthy fruit...
Be blessed!
DC
Seeds:
Then he took some of the seed of the land and planted it in a fertile field; He placed it by abundant waters and set it like a willow tree. And it grew and became a spreading vine of low stature; Its branches turned toward him, but its roots were under it. So it became a vine, brought forth branches, and put forth shoots. Ezekiel 17:5-6
The seed shrivels under the clods, storehouses are in shambles; barns are broken down, for the grain has withered. Joel 1:17
For the seed shall be prosperous, the vine shall give its fruit, the ground shall give her increase, and the heavens shall give their dew— I will cause the remnant of this people to possess all these. Zechariah 8:12
Fruit:
He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. Psalm 1:3
For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit. Jeremiah 17:8
Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. John 15:2
October 30, 2011- After a week's drought from writing I've decided to write about two really cool things that made my week last week. They both had to do with two pretty cool kids with ASD and the life cycle of pumpkins. HUH?!?! Yup, you read right: PUMPKINS!
My little man has been studying the life cycle of the pumpkin at school. Now considering how much time he's been spending in "safe space" (i.e. time out) and/or having "interventions" for his behavior lately it was an incredibly pleasant SHOCK to hear that he was learning anything at all! But God is good and my baby IS learning! The little man brought home a large strip of red paper titled "Pumpkin Life Cycle." I asked him what it was and he said, "see, fly, punkin'" A bit confused I asked him again and he pointed at each of the shapes: see...fly...punkin'. HE WAS SAYING "SEED, FLOWER, PUMPKIN!!!!!" WOW!!! How cool is THAT?!?!? That paper is now on our refrigerator door and every day he reminds us of each of the stages, though now he's been able to work at it and say "seed, flowa, punkin" I'm SO proud! ;') That was cool moment #1.
Cool moment #2 happened at school while I worked in a first grade classroom with a little girl with ASD who has been having a REALLY hard time at school (sound familiar?). I felt honored to be able to witness this little girl who's had such a rough start to the year beam with pride as she colored, cut and pasted images of...guess what? The life cycle of the pumpkin! Her teacher, aide and I just cheered as she allowed us to offer suggestions and even help her fix each of the paper squares to fit onto a strip of paper. Her teacher made it "just right" so she could wear it as a headband/hat for the rest of the day! This was the FIRST time since September that I have seen the child be flexible, make steady eye contact, let someone help her and even dance for joy when her work was finished!
These two things got me thinking about kids like this little girl and my little man. Both of these kids have ASD and although they are incredibly bright their school experiences are so "colored" by their behavioral difficulties (did you know that was the case for Albert Einstein, too?). The joy of seeing these two kids beam with pride in their work is why I do what I do, why I've been at it for over 15 years and why I love it so much! These two kids are like the pumpkin seeds: they were planted, watered and cared for but something went awry along the way. When educators in their lives became blinded and overwhelmed by their behaviors, it's as if they'd thrown a tarp over the small pumpkin plant sprouting from the eart, stunting its growth. Without light or air, these little plants will wither and never give fruit! In contrast, when cared for, nourished and allowed to breathe and grow with the correct guidance, these little plants could end up producing record-breaking sized pumpkins (remember Albert Einstein?).
This reminds me of the many, many places in the Bible where plants and seeds are described and/or used as analogies (see list at the end of my post). Our spiritual lives are like these seeds: it is not enough to plant the seed and expect it to magically grow. We need to nourish that sproutlet! The stressors of life so often cover the light and air that we need to grow in Christ. Like the joy I felt in seeing these two amazing kids beam with pride at their accomplishments, I can only imagine God's joy when He sees us grow and give fruit against all odds! My prayer is that I can be a witness to many more of my little man's accomplishments and moments of pride. I pray that his school life no longer serves as that tarp that covers his air and light, stunting his joy and his growth. I pray that the stressors in MY life don't drown out the blessings and spiritual nourishment that God wants to pour out over my life and my family. I pray the same for you: that your seed grows into a beautiful flower and gives plenty of healthy fruit...
SEE, FLY, PUNKIN!
DC
Seeds:
Then he took some of the seed of the land and planted it in a fertile field; He placed it by abundant waters and set it like a willow tree. And it grew and became a spreading vine of low stature; Its branches turned toward him, but its roots were under it. So it became a vine, brought forth branches, and put forth shoots. Ezekiel 17:5-6
The seed shrivels under the clods, storehouses are in shambles; barns are broken down, for the grain has withered. Joel 1:17
For the seed shall be prosperous, the vine shall give its fruit, the ground shall give her increase, and the heavens shall give their dew— I will cause the remnant of this people to possess all these. Zechariah 8:12
Fruit:
He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. Psalm 1:3
For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit. Jeremiah 17:8
Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. John 15:2
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Come to the Well
My favorite Christian band, Casting Crowns, released its new album this week. It is titled Come to the Well, based on the passage of the woman at the well meeting Jesus in John 4. I have been anxiously anticipating the release of this album and I can't wait until Christmas, when I know some loving family member (hint, hint) will get me the devotional book that goes with it (written by Mark Hall, lead singer of Casting Crowns). My favorite thing about this band is that they are ministers first and musicians next. Each and every single one of their songs has words that cut like a knife down to your soul... and they have no qualms about saying things like they are, openly criticizing the overly religious and exhorting Christians to build relationships with Jesus Christ. Check out their website... they have wonderful short video Bible studies perfect for your daily devotionals!!!
I have been engulfed in this music since its release on Tuesday morning...and I've been moved by so many of the songs! They have stayed with me even after I'm done listening and have helped me come face to face with my Lord in the quietness AND craziness of my days. As you may have read in my earlier posts, I have been going through a process of searching God's peace during a very troubling time. I am sure many of you parents of kids on the spectrum can relate to the battles we often have to fight with the school system to get our kids what they need. We are dab smack in the middle of one of those battles and my worst fear, that the little man would be the one to suffer the most from the process, has come true...but I trust that God has a plan!
Being in "the business" of public special education (and specializing in working with kids on the autism spectrum) has given me a different insight into my son's education and his needs. It has also "colored" my expectations of my son's educators, much to their dismay. As a Christian, my professional experience has not always been a good thing. I have felt like I had to control everything and make it just right for the little man at school. By bringing in specialists and by fighting and relying on my own strength I just wore myself out... and my family was paying the price (particularly my wonderful husband). I have felt physically, emotionally and spiritually torn between my duties as a mother/wife and my duties in my professional work. That has suffered, too, in my quest to get my son what he needs.
The lyrics of some of Casting Crowns' new songs like Already There, Face Down, My Own Worst Enemy, and Listen to Our Hearts have reminded me that:
1) God has the perfect long-distance view of this journey I am on and each step has a purpose in His perfect plan.
2) God is constantly there, waiting for me to "make" time for Him.
3) I don't have to force myself to find the words to say to Him in prayer. He sees my heart and knows my love for Him, even when I can't find a way to show or tell him.
4) I can't fight this fight alone. I can NOT make it on my own!
AND 5) I feel closest to God when I humble myself before Him...completely...and face down.
Last night during my quiet time with my God, He brought together in my mind images from my last post coupled with the cover of Come to the Well:
I have been engulfed in this music since its release on Tuesday morning...and I've been moved by so many of the songs! They have stayed with me even after I'm done listening and have helped me come face to face with my Lord in the quietness AND craziness of my days. As you may have read in my earlier posts, I have been going through a process of searching God's peace during a very troubling time. I am sure many of you parents of kids on the spectrum can relate to the battles we often have to fight with the school system to get our kids what they need. We are dab smack in the middle of one of those battles and my worst fear, that the little man would be the one to suffer the most from the process, has come true...but I trust that God has a plan!
Being in "the business" of public special education (and specializing in working with kids on the autism spectrum) has given me a different insight into my son's education and his needs. It has also "colored" my expectations of my son's educators, much to their dismay. As a Christian, my professional experience has not always been a good thing. I have felt like I had to control everything and make it just right for the little man at school. By bringing in specialists and by fighting and relying on my own strength I just wore myself out... and my family was paying the price (particularly my wonderful husband). I have felt physically, emotionally and spiritually torn between my duties as a mother/wife and my duties in my professional work. That has suffered, too, in my quest to get my son what he needs.
The lyrics of some of Casting Crowns' new songs like Already There, Face Down, My Own Worst Enemy, and Listen to Our Hearts have reminded me that:
1) God has the perfect long-distance view of this journey I am on and each step has a purpose in His perfect plan.
2) God is constantly there, waiting for me to "make" time for Him.
3) I don't have to force myself to find the words to say to Him in prayer. He sees my heart and knows my love for Him, even when I can't find a way to show or tell him.
4) I can't fight this fight alone. I can NOT make it on my own!
AND 5) I feel closest to God when I humble myself before Him...completely...and face down.
Last night during my quiet time with my God, He brought together in my mind images from my last post coupled with the cover of Come to the Well:
I wish I was an artist so I could depict the vivid illustration He put in my spirit. Face down in total humility before the Lord I raised my hands and physically handed Him my load. My hands were dirty and my clothes were tattered...my power, strength, experience and knowledge are just not enough!
My post now comes full-circle to why I love Casting Crowns' music so much. Their lyrics are constant reminders that we should ALL be prostrated before our Lord in the utmost reverence and humble disposition. Only by rendering ourselves to Him and giving Him our load will we be free and see that He is carrying us...and we find peace. I truly believe that Christians should spend more time in this position and less time judging others. "Jesus Friend of Sinners" is another awesome track on the album that touches my heart. Jesus did not come for the pristine churchgoers who are more like the Pharisees He chastised. He came for the sinners...those He befriended and invited into his inner circle by saying "Follow me."
But I am digressing. In closing I will leave you with the catchiest hook on the entire album. The title song reminds us to "leave it all behind and come to the well." Only when you humble yourself, hand your baggage to the Almighty and leave it behind will you be able to draw and enjoy from the well of Living Water and find your peace in the midst of this puzzle.
Have a blessed day!
DC
My post now comes full-circle to why I love Casting Crowns' music so much. Their lyrics are constant reminders that we should ALL be prostrated before our Lord in the utmost reverence and humble disposition. Only by rendering ourselves to Him and giving Him our load will we be free and see that He is carrying us...and we find peace. I truly believe that Christians should spend more time in this position and less time judging others. "Jesus Friend of Sinners" is another awesome track on the album that touches my heart. Jesus did not come for the pristine churchgoers who are more like the Pharisees He chastised. He came for the sinners...those He befriended and invited into his inner circle by saying "Follow me."
But I am digressing. In closing I will leave you with the catchiest hook on the entire album. The title song reminds us to "leave it all behind and come to the well." Only when you humble yourself, hand your baggage to the Almighty and leave it behind will you be able to draw and enjoy from the well of Living Water and find your peace in the midst of this puzzle.
Have a blessed day!
DC
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