Thank you, Kerry Magro!

Thanks to our amazing friend, Kerry Magro, Social Marketing Coordinator at Autism Speaks, for putting my boy and I as the cover photo this week on the Autism Speaks' Facebook Page!!!

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Having said that, I should remind everyone that Kerry's book, Defining Autism From the Heart, is now available on amazon.com! I HAVE read the book at it is AMAZING!!!! You can read my review of the book here:

http://www.amazon.com/Defining-Autism-From-The-Heart/product-reviews/0615818102/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

So, run and check out Autism Speaks on Facebook and don't forget to pick up your copy of Kerry's book!!!

Blessings!

DC

"I CAN!"

And here is the proof! My last post focused on my refusing to listen to and believe all of the "can't"s about my son. Well, just today I received this link via Autism Speaks. It is a TEDx Talk by an Australian man named Chris Varney and you HAVE to see it!!!

You see, Nathan started at the camp in his new school system. He is with a regular education teacher and typically developing kids mixed with kids who have IEPs for all different reasons... and he is doing GREAT! His teacher has nothing but wonderful things to say about my son and how much she loves having him in her class. WHAT?!?!? MY son??? Yes, indeed! Even on the one day he had some struggles, these were seen as typical 5-year old type of behaviors that could be dealt with easily. You see, for ONCE Nathan is not the "problem child." For ONCE he is not under the autism microscope where all the negatives are highlighted and the positives are forgotten or ignored. THIS is what Chris Varney is talking about: an "I CAN" approach to working with children on the autism spectrum.

See for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1HQKB2txgY

Remember that the journey on this puzzling road has all kinds of unexpected twists and turns. Just when you think you have it all "figured out," it changes and you have to regroup. But ALWAYS, ALWAYS remember to focus on what your child CAN do and never give up on your dreams for your child. Do not listen to the people in your life who assume failure for your child. There is no such thing as "false hope," there is just "hope."

Blessings!
DC

Who will YOU listen to???

My regular readers will know that I am a HUGE fan of the Christian band, Casting Crowns. I have chosen their song, Voice of Truth, as the anthem for my journey on this puzzling road. In particular, the chorus of the song:

"But the giant's calling out my name and then laughs at me, reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed. 

The giant keeps on telling me time and time again: 

'You'll never win! You'll NEVER win!' 

But the voice of Truth tells me a different story. The voice of Truth says, 'Do NOT be afraid!' 

And the voice of Truth says, 'This is for MY glory!' 

Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth." 

Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns

IF I'd listened to the "giants," the doctors, specialists and educators with their contradictions and negativity:
1. "You CAN'T have a child naturally"
2. "NO home daycare provider will EVER take him and his 'entourage' of therapists"
3. "He has severe autistic disorder and he is intellectually delayed. You've WASTED six crucial months doing Floortime when he will ONLY PROGRESS in a specialized substantially separate program with 25 to 40 hours of intense ABA and discrete trial training. He can't go to public school."
4. "He DOESN'T NEED a full-day preschool program. Two hours three mornings a week will meet his needs."
5. "He DOESN'T BELONG in an integrated preschool class. He takes up too much teacher time and needs to be in a substantially separate class."
6. "We've tried EVERYTHING and NOTHING works for improving his behavior."
7. "He is the HARDEST kid I've ever taught."
8. "He's TOO YOUNG for medication."
9. "You're letting your own PERCEPTIONS keep him from getting what he REALLY needs."
10. "He WON'T MAKE IT in a regular ed kindergarten class"

Those are just the top ten... in chronological order... NOT order of importance!

But I CHOSE NOT to listen to the contradictions and the negativity. I CHOSE to listen to the voice of Truth and every situation DID turn out for the GLORY of God. Even when ALL the voices kept dragging me down; when even the people closest to me doubted, my trust was in the Lord with ALL my heart (Prov. 3:5-6). I had FAITH in what I hoped for, even when I couldn't see it (Hebrews 11:1).

You see:
1. We DID have a biological child without needing fertility treatments.
2. We DID find the most WONDERFUL daycare provider, who LOVED our little man and opened her doors, her arms and her heart to our beautiful son and, not his 'entourage,' but the wonderful team of folks who could help her help him!
3. His academic skills are BEYOND grade level and he has somehow taught himself to read WITHOUT ABA or discrete trial training.
4. He is talking like a parrot, improving his speech sounds and LOVES being with other children.
5. He's been accepted into one of the BEST school systems in the area and will be starting regular ed kindergarten this September.
6. His new teachers see him as an important member of the group. They know how to build on his interests, strengths and innate curiosity to manage his behaviors.
7. His new teachers ENJOY having him in their class and recognize him as an ASSET, not a burden.
8. We DID find medical interventions/help that have allowed him to better control his behavior and be more "available for learning."
9. MY PERCEPTIONS were that my son would SUCCEED, NOT that he would FAIL.
10. He WILL make it in a regular education kindergarten class. He WILL NEED HELP and certainly can't do it on his own, but HE WILL MAKE IT!

God IS true to His promises, but we have to trust in Him and walk by faith. Most importantly, we HAVE to give HIM the GLORY for each accomplishment along the way. We MUST TRUST that even when things look the darkest and the scariest, the Lord will be glorified and in the end we WILL SEE how everything worked out for the BEST.

I saw this picture on Facebook. It was posted by the National Autism Association. It sums up everything in just three lines:

I pray that you, too, will choose to listen to the voice of Truth!
Blessings!
DC

Piggy-backing...

Hi everyone! After last week's emotional post, I HAD to piggy-back with this!!! PEOPLE magazine has just published this week's issue, which features 11 of the victims, or as I call them: heroes, of the Boston marathon bombings. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE consider buying the issue!!! So many people hyper-focus on the perpetrators and the victims are usually forgotten. Well, we can't let that happen! I want this issue of PEOPLE to outsell any other magazine that even mentioned the names of the monsters who committed this atrocity! So, here's the link or run to your local store to pick up a copy! (And kudos to Spaulding Rehab Hospital, where I started my career as an OT, for not only helping these folks regain their lives, but for opening their doors to PEOPLE for this incredible article!)

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20706477,00.html

**the full article is not available online, so please go out and pick up your copy before they are no longer available**

To help the victims, please go to https://secure.onefundboston.org/ and make a generous donation... please keep in mind that many of the victims are now unable to work and uninsured because of their injuries!

Blessings!

DC

Adept at Adapting

In the past 3 months some pretty unexpected and life-altering events have occurred within our family's inner cirlce. There was a marriage after almost two decades of widowhood (big change!). There was a sudden separation and subsequent divorce in what seemed to be an idyllic marriage between two best friends. Then there were the horrible double bombings at the Boston Marathon, which rocked our community to its core. My husband and sister both work walking distance from the sites of the bombings. THANK GOD neither of them was at their office that day-- a first time "Marathon Monday" occurrence for both workaholics! In the days following the attacks it was impossible to shake the constant uneasiness each time they both headed back to work.

Even after these three major events had passed, it was just SO hard to move forward. A sense of loneliness and sadness just lingered. There was no escaping it. In our family we were dealing with no longer having our usual regular family childcare support, having new temporary house guests and needing to help our loved ones who needed some extra TLC. In our community: one of the casualties of the bombings, Krystle Campbell, was from the suburban city where we live. Her funeral was walking distance from our house. Now I can't help but think of her and her family each time I run to the neighborhood market just to pick up some milk. Something that seemed so mundane now has a whole new meaning... In my professional life: one morning as I drove into work going the same route I have traveled for over 15 years I was unexpectedly redirected. My entire usual route to work was closed for the memorial of the fallen MIT police officer, Sean Collier. Now every morning on my way to work I think about the senseless loss. I just can't get away from any of it!

In my attempt to cope I changed many of my habits: I readjusted my schedule to spend more time with my loved ones, reaching out to those whose lives had been altered to make sure they were OK. Our family had been thrown off to such a degree that I wanted to offset it with love and bring it back into balance. I also made it a point to learn as many of the names of the victims, to pray for them daily by name, and to make it my priority each day to follow up on their progress. Each day I searched for news of their journeys from intensive care to acute care, then from rehab to going home. I have followed and prayed. The images of the carnage were so horrific that I needed to know those who could would be OK. I could do something... and I would feel better!

In the midst and aftermath of these three enormous events, one thing has become so apparent and that is the phenomenal ability for human beings to adapt: reconciling with your "new normal" when life as you knew it has shifted so off-kilter that you can't see straight. Nowhere has this become more evident than in the lives of the many individuals injured at the marathon, particularly those who've lost limbs or basic body functions. As an OT who started out in rehab, I can attest to not just the physical but emotional mountains to climb as you relearn to sit, eat, dress yourself, walk and return to the "real world" when the last time you were there you faced the most horrific event of your life.

"Adaptation" is a basic human ability, necessary for survival. It can involve the physical and emotional realms. It's what in OT school we are taught to help others with and why I love my profession. So, where does that leave our loved ones with ASD whose neurological and social-emotional make up makes it nearly impossible to accomplish such a basic but essential human skill? As my little man prepares to leave the familiarity and comfort of the preschool class in which he's been since turning three I wonder: How will he adapt? How long will it take for him to acclimate and get used to his "new normal" in kindergarten: new building, new teacher(s), new children, new (and greater) expectations? We've started visiting the playground at his new school, we're writing social stories, we're going to meet his teachers/children at a "meet and greet," and we're visiting his new classroom... we're doing all we can!

But what about the unforeseen changes? A change in the schedule? An absent teacher? A surprise fire drill? A game that doesn't go quite as planned? A rule being broken? These are the things that too frequently keep our loved ones with ASD from "fitting into" this world! As I pondered upon this concept, it made me think of the words of Jesus as he prayed for His disciples in John 17:14-16:
"I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." (NIV)

My loved ones dealing with major life changes and loss didn't get the privilege of a dry-run or a social story. Each of the victims of the marathon attacks couldn't have possibly prepared for what was to come! Yet, here they are, facing a new future that they did not plan for. BUT...a new marriage will eventually feel like an old marriage and grow into a familiar and comfortable way of life... a newly single person will rediscover their strength/resilience/independence to conquer life's new adventures... a loss of a limb will lead to new advances in prosthetics and the open and welcoming arms of a whole new community who's already been there and is ready to offer support, wisdom and guidance... and a new school for kindergarten will eventually become a second home and preschool will be a memory of the past.

Unlike "neurotypical" individuals who are able to move on when faced with even the most unthinkable challenges, our loved ones with ASD are just NOT adept at adapting! But just as all human beings, our loved ones with ASD must face and overcome change! As hard as I know this can be for them, I find comfort in knowing that just as Jesus interceded for His disciples, He is on our loved ones' side. I choose to believe that my son and all your loved ones with ASD are watched over and protected, just as Jesus said in John 17:15. He will send His angels in forms of teachers, aides, therapists and even other children to help them navigate this strange and seemingly foreign world... Just as He has sent the Holy Spirit to guide us as we travel through this world as pilgrims on our way to the next... and just as He sent those amazing first responders, doctors, nurses, therapists and specialists into the lives of the victims of the marathon who now face whole new lives with unforeseen changes and challenges.

Change makes you grow and learn... ASD won't and shouldn't keep you or anyone from that very essence of being human!

Blessings!
DC