Jesus Calling
Devotional
My face is shining upon you, beaming out Peace that transcends understanding. You are surrounded by a sea of problems, but you are face to Face with Me, your Peace. As long as you focus on Me, you are safe. If you gaze too long at the myriad problems around you, you will sink under the weight of your burdens. When you start to sink, simply call out "Help me, Jesus!" and I will lift you up.
The closer you live to Me, the safer you are. Fix your eyes on Me, the One who never changes.
"But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, 'Lord, save me!'" Matthew 14:30
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7
Excerpt from the January 15 devotional writing of Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Repost from Women of Faith
Another great short post from Women of Faith. Blessings!
DC
“And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness” (Genesis 1:4).
Yesterday can’t be altered, tomorrow can’t be predicted, and today can’t be controlled any more than I can adjust the sun’s path. While that could make us feel helpless, I find a deep comfort in the knowledge that the one who placed the sun on its course has lit a distinct path for us. The path is filled with purpose and with the potential for interior prosperity: “You will show me the path of life” (Psalm 16:11).
While on earth, we will encounter both darkness and light, but that will not always be so. A day will come when Christ in all his glory and light will fill every shaded nook and every shadowed cranny, and darkness will be no more. Nothing will be as we now know it, and earth and God’s people will experience full redemption. Imagine that.
Just imagine!
DC
Just Imagine!by Patsy Clairmont
Getting up in the wee hours to experience the first rays of light
conquering darkness heartens me. I watch the ebony melt from the sky and
drizzle behind the distant stand of trees, and my senses awaken. Those
first morning moments when the sun seems to ignite a horizon of hope—a
new dawn, a new day, a new beginning—who doesn’t need that?“And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness” (Genesis 1:4).
Yesterday can’t be altered, tomorrow can’t be predicted, and today can’t be controlled any more than I can adjust the sun’s path. While that could make us feel helpless, I find a deep comfort in the knowledge that the one who placed the sun on its course has lit a distinct path for us. The path is filled with purpose and with the potential for interior prosperity: “You will show me the path of life” (Psalm 16:11).
While on earth, we will encounter both darkness and light, but that will not always be so. A day will come when Christ in all his glory and light will fill every shaded nook and every shadowed cranny, and darkness will be no more. Nothing will be as we now know it, and earth and God’s people will experience full redemption. Imagine that.
Just imagine!
excerpted from I Second That Emotion © 2008 by Patsy Clairmont. Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
Embrace the Positive
Hi everyone! My goal this year is to post as much helpful information on here for all of you to read, even when it's not my own writing. Here is a wonderful post from the Autism Support Network newsletter titled "Embrace the Positive." As families of kids with ASD, or any other special needs, we can get SO bogged down in the negatives and what our kids CAN'T do. As I mentioned before, I am reading a series of Christian books about parenting children with ASD and special needs. This is one of the MAJOR things the authors stress as a source for peace: finding the good even in the midst of the bad. I hope this article will help you think about finding more positives!
Blessings!
DC
A good friend of mine sent me an idea for a column based on the article “Tap The Power of Praise,” in the November issue of Better Homes and Gardens. The basic premise was to encourage and support people. It got me thinking about our children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
I have always felt that every child I work with has at least one special talent; most of them have more than one hidden talent. I have always attempted to identify and then develop that talent. One child developed a fascination with road maps.We turned this into memorizing Nassau and Suffolk county maps (eventually even Westchester county). This enabled a great deal of language development, and an opportunity to fit into different types of conversations, not only as a participant, but as a leader/authority. He would have been the best emergency dispatcher for the fire and police departments. Another child, the son of a professional musician, began to play drums, piano, and guitar without standard rudiments/scales as lessons. Another, considered to have no cognitive capabilities at all is a savant with numbers and memorization and gave a formal presentation on familial dysautonomia at the New York University medical center. How about a kid like B.J. who knows everything about cars (makes, models, engines, prices)? Or a kid like M. who knows everything about horror films, and every episode of cartoons, and sitcoms. These children are walking encyclopedias.
For at least the past decade, there has been a young man on the spectrum who has memorized the entire New York City subway system: all the lines, the stops, the uniforms, equipment, and even the catwalks and tunnels between stations. He is so fascinated that he even learned how to operate the subway, and has gone so far as to purchase the official clothing, badges, and equipment bags so that he looks just like a real transit worker. I know about this because I read about him in the New York Times when he gets arrested for impersonating a subway worker. Every time he does something syndromatic, or to imitate an authentic transit worker, he gets arrested. He is told to never do this again, and is released to the family. Well, the family, in an attempt to totally control this fascination moved south to a state without subways. This, obviously, put our person into a tremendous state of deprivation. Subsequently, he ran away from home and traveled back to New York City. He again obtained the necessary outfits, badges, etc., and resumed trying to be a New York City transit worker. And-tada!-got arrested again.
This whole thing got me thinking about some basic questions. For example: if this person were to be praised, encouraged, and supported, and trained to perform some real life job with the transit authority, what would be the outcome? What attendance record would he have? Would he ever be late for work? What kind of job performance evaluation would he get? Would he ever get arrested again?
It strikes me that the word “function” pertains to the actual performance of behaviors that fit into some predetermined set of skills. Once you perform these skills, such performance then determines your ability for independence/autonomy. This independence/autonomy then determines your ability to “fit in” within society. Some would argue that social skills are the most important functional behavior. Others might argue that paying taxes is the most important part of function. We need people to perform all different types of jobs. Some people like to work in open spaces, while others like cubicles. Some like lots of people around them, while others like to be left alone. We now have more people on the spectrum finishing college, even graduate school.
One thing is certain. The more you can do something considered functional, and the more you interact with others (especially from outside the family), the more likely you will get feedback/consequences based upon that skill. This feedback can be thought of as naturalistic positive reinforcement consequences.
Let us be totally clear here. I am not suggesting that we abandon the basic day-to-day functional skills in favor of only working on the special skills. After all, who wants to work with someone who has poor hygiene skills? However, what would the educational experience be like for the child with ASD if we interspersed learning new skills, with the opportunity to work on the special skills? What if we sought to make a fit for this person with the special skills and society? This is exactly what Wolf Wolfensberger suggested in his theory of normalization. It is also exactly what Maria Montessori had in mind when she began her work with the mentally challenged, leading to her Montessori Method.
Before someone accuses me of being unrealistic or trying to give parents false hope about the future based upon little to no “functional skills,” I need to restate my purpose here. Has the educational process of trying to teach science skills, or how to analyze the words within a sentence been working? Are these children really being prepared for their own future? Let us keep the academic component going, but let us also look for opportunities to praise, encourage, and support these special skills. Yes, let us do so in a realistic manner. Somewhere, embedded in your daily academic or home routine, have the child learn a new concept or functional skill as a means of being permitted to engage in their special skills: For example, a social skill of how to introduce their special skill to others without alienating the other person.
Courtesy of Spectrum Publications
Blessings!
DC
Embrace the positive
Dr. Anthony C. Hollander
Email successfully sent
close windowI have always felt that every child I work with has at least one special talent; most of them have more than one hidden talent. I have always attempted to identify and then develop that talent. One child developed a fascination with road maps.We turned this into memorizing Nassau and Suffolk county maps (eventually even Westchester county). This enabled a great deal of language development, and an opportunity to fit into different types of conversations, not only as a participant, but as a leader/authority. He would have been the best emergency dispatcher for the fire and police departments. Another child, the son of a professional musician, began to play drums, piano, and guitar without standard rudiments/scales as lessons. Another, considered to have no cognitive capabilities at all is a savant with numbers and memorization and gave a formal presentation on familial dysautonomia at the New York University medical center. How about a kid like B.J. who knows everything about cars (makes, models, engines, prices)? Or a kid like M. who knows everything about horror films, and every episode of cartoons, and sitcoms. These children are walking encyclopedias.
For at least the past decade, there has been a young man on the spectrum who has memorized the entire New York City subway system: all the lines, the stops, the uniforms, equipment, and even the catwalks and tunnels between stations. He is so fascinated that he even learned how to operate the subway, and has gone so far as to purchase the official clothing, badges, and equipment bags so that he looks just like a real transit worker. I know about this because I read about him in the New York Times when he gets arrested for impersonating a subway worker. Every time he does something syndromatic, or to imitate an authentic transit worker, he gets arrested. He is told to never do this again, and is released to the family. Well, the family, in an attempt to totally control this fascination moved south to a state without subways. This, obviously, put our person into a tremendous state of deprivation. Subsequently, he ran away from home and traveled back to New York City. He again obtained the necessary outfits, badges, etc., and resumed trying to be a New York City transit worker. And-tada!-got arrested again.
This whole thing got me thinking about some basic questions. For example: if this person were to be praised, encouraged, and supported, and trained to perform some real life job with the transit authority, what would be the outcome? What attendance record would he have? Would he ever be late for work? What kind of job performance evaluation would he get? Would he ever get arrested again?
It strikes me that the word “function” pertains to the actual performance of behaviors that fit into some predetermined set of skills. Once you perform these skills, such performance then determines your ability for independence/autonomy. This independence/autonomy then determines your ability to “fit in” within society. Some would argue that social skills are the most important functional behavior. Others might argue that paying taxes is the most important part of function. We need people to perform all different types of jobs. Some people like to work in open spaces, while others like cubicles. Some like lots of people around them, while others like to be left alone. We now have more people on the spectrum finishing college, even graduate school.
One thing is certain. The more you can do something considered functional, and the more you interact with others (especially from outside the family), the more likely you will get feedback/consequences based upon that skill. This feedback can be thought of as naturalistic positive reinforcement consequences.
Let us be totally clear here. I am not suggesting that we abandon the basic day-to-day functional skills in favor of only working on the special skills. After all, who wants to work with someone who has poor hygiene skills? However, what would the educational experience be like for the child with ASD if we interspersed learning new skills, with the opportunity to work on the special skills? What if we sought to make a fit for this person with the special skills and society? This is exactly what Wolf Wolfensberger suggested in his theory of normalization. It is also exactly what Maria Montessori had in mind when she began her work with the mentally challenged, leading to her Montessori Method.
Before someone accuses me of being unrealistic or trying to give parents false hope about the future based upon little to no “functional skills,” I need to restate my purpose here. Has the educational process of trying to teach science skills, or how to analyze the words within a sentence been working? Are these children really being prepared for their own future? Let us keep the academic component going, but let us also look for opportunities to praise, encourage, and support these special skills. Yes, let us do so in a realistic manner. Somewhere, embedded in your daily academic or home routine, have the child learn a new concept or functional skill as a means of being permitted to engage in their special skills: For example, a social skill of how to introduce their special skill to others without alienating the other person.
Courtesy of Spectrum Publications
Saturday, January 7, 2012
SAP: Stop And Pray (forwarded from a friend)
Hi everyone! Here is a great devotional I received from a sister in Christ, one of my prayer warriors. I found it so uplifting and wanted to share it with you.
Blessings!
DC
Too Tired to Pray
by Wendy Pope
"Then I prayed to the God of heaven..." Nehemiah 2:4b (NIV)
I'm the survivor of some tough challenges. Challenges with a sting that won't quit! As one day fades into the next, I wonder how I will have the energy to make it through. These challenges can steal my energy, my zest for life and my belief that things could change. During difficult days, my godly friends offer wise counsel. They point me to Scripture with aspirations of encouraging me and bringing hope to what I deem hopeless. My friends hold me up in prayer and remind me to pray. However, there are times when the weight of my circumstances are so heavy, when I bow my head to pray, I sometimes find I am just too tired. I am tired of moving forward one day, only to run into another obstacle that prohibits progress the next. I am tired of expelling my energies trying to make a difference, only to find myself right back where I was. When a situation robs me of spiritual, mental and physical energy, I feel too tired to pray. Until I remember a man in the Bible who found himself in a challenge that had the potential to rob him of spiritual, mental and physical strength. He ran into one obstacle after another. He worked hard each day trying to make a difference. But, unlike me, this man was not too tired to pray.
Nehemiah wept and mourned over the seemingly hopeless and ruined condition of Jerusalem when the exiles returned home from captivity in Babylon. He was motivated to help his people rebuild. Having the favor of the king and the presence of God on his side, you wouldn't think the assignment would be a challenge. However, government officials made it their personal business to undermine the rebuilding. They leered and jeered and attempted to defeat the progress every step of the way. Nehemiah responded to each insult and obstacle the same way: he prayed. For Nehemiah and the Israelites, prayer was the needed prescription to revive them, restore their energy and continue building! Through the power of prayer their enemies were defeated and the wall was rebuilt. What a wonderful lesson for anyone struggling through life's challenges, too tired to pray.
Nehemiah's prescription for those who are overwhelmed can be remembered easily with the acronym SAP (Stop and Pray). Interestingly, the word sap means energy and vitality. Vitality is defined as exuberant physical strength or mental vigor; power to live and grow. Nehemiah had it right. He made prayer his first choice, not his last resort. He discovered prayer would revive his spirit and restore the mental and physical energy needed to overcome challenges. Do you find yourself facing a challenge? Have you felt just too tired to pray? Join me today as I SAP - stop and pray. Let's allow the power of prayer to revive our spirit and restore our physical and mental vigor. By following Nehemiah's example we will have the energy needed to defeat the enemy and thrive in the midst of our challenges.
Dear Lord, through the power of prayer, today's challenge can be tomorrow's victory. Forgive me when I make prayer my last resort instead of my first choice. Help me remember the truths You have taught me today. Help me SAP when adversity comes my way. Thank You for prayer and the power I receive when I turn to You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Blessings!
DC
Too Tired to Pray
by Wendy Pope
"Then I prayed to the God of heaven..." Nehemiah 2:4b (NIV)
I'm the survivor of some tough challenges. Challenges with a sting that won't quit! As one day fades into the next, I wonder how I will have the energy to make it through. These challenges can steal my energy, my zest for life and my belief that things could change. During difficult days, my godly friends offer wise counsel. They point me to Scripture with aspirations of encouraging me and bringing hope to what I deem hopeless. My friends hold me up in prayer and remind me to pray. However, there are times when the weight of my circumstances are so heavy, when I bow my head to pray, I sometimes find I am just too tired. I am tired of moving forward one day, only to run into another obstacle that prohibits progress the next. I am tired of expelling my energies trying to make a difference, only to find myself right back where I was. When a situation robs me of spiritual, mental and physical energy, I feel too tired to pray. Until I remember a man in the Bible who found himself in a challenge that had the potential to rob him of spiritual, mental and physical strength. He ran into one obstacle after another. He worked hard each day trying to make a difference. But, unlike me, this man was not too tired to pray.
Nehemiah wept and mourned over the seemingly hopeless and ruined condition of Jerusalem when the exiles returned home from captivity in Babylon. He was motivated to help his people rebuild. Having the favor of the king and the presence of God on his side, you wouldn't think the assignment would be a challenge. However, government officials made it their personal business to undermine the rebuilding. They leered and jeered and attempted to defeat the progress every step of the way. Nehemiah responded to each insult and obstacle the same way: he prayed. For Nehemiah and the Israelites, prayer was the needed prescription to revive them, restore their energy and continue building! Through the power of prayer their enemies were defeated and the wall was rebuilt. What a wonderful lesson for anyone struggling through life's challenges, too tired to pray.
Nehemiah's prescription for those who are overwhelmed can be remembered easily with the acronym SAP (Stop and Pray). Interestingly, the word sap means energy and vitality. Vitality is defined as exuberant physical strength or mental vigor; power to live and grow. Nehemiah had it right. He made prayer his first choice, not his last resort. He discovered prayer would revive his spirit and restore the mental and physical energy needed to overcome challenges. Do you find yourself facing a challenge? Have you felt just too tired to pray? Join me today as I SAP - stop and pray. Let's allow the power of prayer to revive our spirit and restore our physical and mental vigor. By following Nehemiah's example we will have the energy needed to defeat the enemy and thrive in the midst of our challenges.
Dear Lord, through the power of prayer, today's challenge can be tomorrow's victory. Forgive me when I make prayer my last resort instead of my first choice. Help me remember the truths You have taught me today. Help me SAP when adversity comes my way. Thank You for prayer and the power I receive when I turn to You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
If at first you don't succeed...
Happy New Year, Everyone!!!
OK, so I tried it: the EXACT opposite of what I described in my last post... Today, Sunday January 1, 2012 I got dressed up in some nice clothes, put on some make-up (other than colored chapstick), actually put on some jewelry and my cute heeled boots, got ready my nice new pocketbook and tried to look pretty for Sunday service at church. Nathan wore a nicely pressed button up shirt, his new pants and new shoes (Etnies toddler shoes, who donate a portion of the proceeds to Autism Speaks!). A picture perfect family ready for Sunday worship! Bruno was playing with the praise and worship team today, so I knew I'd be on my own without any help, but, with God' help I was determined to stay and sit for the entire service! I packed my nice new bag (no backpack!) with the usual: snacks, drink boxes, toys, iPad, diapers, etc (it was so heavy I could have used it as self-defense!)... and off we went!
We found a great parking spot right near the church building, so no long walk, YIPEE! That was the first sign that God was with us!!! We went in and sat right down in our usual spot. Nathan had his snack before service began. We got his iPad and headphones all set up, so when worship started I was actually standing and singing! Folks were coming by saying how nice it was to see us (some didn't recognize us, how sad!) and other commented on how nice we looked... Nathan was so polite, made perfect eye contact and responded to each and every single person so appropriately people had tears in their eyes! I felt SO blessed! For a few minutes I felt like I was "in church," not just "at church," and it was a WONDERFUL feeling!!! I was just like everyone else: worshiping, singing, clapping and swaying to the music with joy in my nice Sunday clothes! I could actually dedicate 100% of my brainpower to Jesus, and not worry about anything else. Notice I said "for a few minutes." Well, we ALMOST made it through the first song...
I'll interject here to share that I got some really great books for Christmas. I've been reading a bit of each of them every night while also spending some time reading Scripture and praying. Most of the books I've been reading are written by parents of kids with ASD or other disabilities. I find comfort in their words... and can relate to so many of their experiences! I have to say, the more I read, the more I realize how easy we have it in comparison to other families. Yes, our life is hard, but some families sure are struggling. I am truly blessed!
One of the books I've been reading is "Finding God in Autism" by Kathy Medina (see the book's reference and website on my list of recommended books). Last night as I read, these words touched my heart and I wanted to share them with you today: "When we change the way we think, God changes the way we feel about our life and our child (with ASD). Peace comes to us. Then strength comes" (p. 28). The Scripture she quotes in this section reads: "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is for life and peace" Romans 8:6. Hey, that's right up MY ally!!!
Another great book I've been reading is "The Well" by Mark Hall from Casting Crowns (yay! I DID get it for Christmas!!!). No coincidence, last night's chapter, Chapter 7: Twist, The Hole of Talent, spoke of exactly the same thing! Mark quoted a passage in 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 and highlights the word "decide." He says: "much of the Christian walk is an act of the will. We can have faith, but we must still step out and obey, We have to decide to obey... We can decide... That's a big word" (see Ch. 7). He is referring to the conscious effort we must make, just like Kathy says we have to change the way we think, we must DECIDE to make these changes and God does the rest...
Back to our experience at church today: for those first few minutes, for almost the whole first song during worship today, I felt "normal"! After that first song, the rest of our experience was pretty tough. I have no idea what the sermon was about and I came home looking (and smelling) like I'd wrestled with a giant octopus--BUT for those first few minutes we looked and felt normal and it was GREAT!!! Of course, we had to go straight home after. I HAD TO jump right into the shower, pop a few ibuprofens and just sit in my comfy sweats, hair pulled back and no niceties... back to my usual "look." It was only 2:30pm and I was wiped... I looked and felt like I'd run a marathon! BUT I HAD to stop and write before my went on with my day because I wanted to make a conscious effort. I wanted to purposely make a mind and attitude change... I decided to relish in those first few minutes of the service. I praised God for allowing me to put aside my fears and dress up nicely and stop looking like a pity party. I wanted to thank Him for allowing me to feel "pretty," and for allowing me to smile just by looking at Nathan in his adorable outfit. God granted me that wonderful, though short, moment of just feeling normal...and that's something that many, many families of kids on the autism spectrum aren't able to say!
As that common phrase says: If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. I will keep trying! With God's help, I will keep trying to make Sundays a success for our family. With God's guidance I will make a more conscious effort to look as happy as I really am on the inside. I know I can't make my life "normal," we will always be different and have many adjustments to make, but if just for a moment each week God will allow me that moment then that moment is enough! I DECIDE to change the way I THINK so God can change the way I FEEL and give me PEACE!
Be blessed!
DC
 |
| A silly picture Nathan took during the service, trying to stay distracted and calm using Mommy's phone... :) |
Monday, December 26, 2011
Merry Christmas (?)
Hello everyone! Merry Christmas! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas weekend. Ours was full of nice family time but also full of meltdowns and mishaps. Without going into details, we woke up Christmas morning without a Christmas tree (had to be taken down the night before), the little man's hands patched up with Elmo and Cookie Monster bandaids and me with a horrible migraine that kept me from going to church. My hubby was off to lead the Christmas cantata, which the little man and I had to miss. I posted several stories and links on this blog leading up to Christmas that referred to ways we could make the holidays easier for our kids. I guess because the little guy had been doing so well, I didn't think we needed to prepare so much...and he was GREAT while we were with family. It was once we got into the car and got home that the pressure cooker gave and turned what should have been a wonderful holiday into two of the worst days we've had in a LONG time. And I missed church on Christmas for the first time since I can even remember... Hence the title of this post: "Merry Christmas (?)"
Today I was watching the video from the Christmas service at church and felt so sad that we missed it...yet in my gut I wonder how we could have gotten through it considering the night we'd had before. My husband came home and shared that many of the folks at church are worried that they haven't seen me in so long. He says he always has to give an excuse "She's upstairs working with the kids," or, "She's sick at home." This got me thinking... these are not excuses, they are the sad truth. I honestly believe that our weeks are so hard that come Sunday I am done! Our special needs ministry has not been as successful as I'd hoped, not because the kids aren't there, but because our "buddies" can't always be there as planned. The truth is that on most weeks in my life I am just happy to have been able to cook a meal or two and maybe tossed in a load of laundry (which is probably still in the dryer waiting for me to take out) that I just can't find the time to make the calls and get all of these folks organized. When the "buddies" can't be there, I try to patch something up to give them a special Sunday school lesson and experience "ASD style" (quiet room, multi-sensory, combining physical movement with the lesson, etc). So, yes, I am "upstairs working with the kids," PRETTY MUCH, ALWAYS!
I am so blessed to have a children's pastor who has a true heart for these kids and ALWAYS has a back-up plan that works. I am double blessed that I have a strong enough relationship with my Lord, Jesus Christ, that even when I miss time with the congregation I still have my special time with Him. I am tripple blessed that the little man and I had been celebrating Advent, so he knows the "reason for the season" and he knows we are celebrating the coming of our King: Jesus Christ! We go see the Christmas lights and instead of yelling out "Santa," he yells out "Baby Jesus! Mary... Joseph...Angel!" Yet the culmination of this celebration is just painful... just thinking about it makes my head hurt!
Our "normal" is just so different! Just to get ourselves ready for church on any given Sunday, we have to do all the previewing, explaining each of the things we will be doing. On a good day, when I have the time and energy, we'll look at pictures to get ready. Then I have to figure out what we're going to wear: it can't be too hot because the little man's temperature regulation is an issue and he's extremely sensitive to feeling too hot. I also can't wear anything that is too textured because he hates how it feels on his skin. I can't wear shoes that have heels because the little man's body awareness is so bad that he ends up under my feet all the time and I could really hurt him. I also need comfortable flat shoes in case I have to run to catch him, particularly when walking to and from our car. Once I've figured out the clothes we will wear to go to church, then it's getting into them..that's a whole other story I'd rather not get into. I make sure the little man's had a good breakfast but still have to pack plenty of snacks, juice boxes, Dum Dum lolipops and toys to keep him entertained. I have to take my things in a backpack so I have two free hands to catch him or give him the physical support he needs (no pretty pocketbooks for this mama).
On the way to church, we have to battle about not going to see trains or airplanes, although the little guy has gotten better at "First church, then airport." It doesn't help that there are about 10 signs pointing the route to the airport between our house and church. We also see three different train track lines on the way to church! Once we park the car, we have to get ourselves to the church... that walk can sometimes take up to 20 minutes between his dragging his feet, wanting to throw rocks or stopping to watch an airplane in the sky. Then it's getting in the door of the church building...and getting him into the noisy and crowded sanctuary. Most Sundays we just go right upstairs to the Sunday school classroom; that seems to work, but if he's there for too long without other children then he gets very territorial about the space and can be pretty nasty when the other kids get there. Navigating Sunday school has its own challenges and they differ every week. Once Sunday school is over, we have to walk down to find his Papa in the large noisy crowd. There's all the explaining and excuses when people want him to speak to them or say hello and he's just in total overload. He is pretty good at giving "high fives," though! :-)
On a good Sunday, I will stay for the second service. We have our special place where we sit, right near the exit and where he can see his daddy while he works at the sound booth or down on the stage when he's playing with the praise and worship team. The lull between the two services is heavenly and allows us to sit quietly, have a snack and rest before the service begins. By that point we are on the home stretch... and can usually make it through the praise and worship (if it's not too loud) and until the offering. By that point, all my tricks have stopped working and it's time to go! So, the long walk back to the car begins... though knowing he will go see trains or airplanes are the carrot at the end of the stick to get him moving a little bit faster. Once we're in the car, I take a deep breath, praise the little man for being so wonderful and before I start the car, I review what we learned in Sunday school. Really, it's just my way of recouping before driving. It also helps him feel like "church" is done and now we're moving on. By this point it's about 1:30 pm and I'm spent, yet we have the whole rest of the day to go! Oh, another small detail, my husband and I usually travel in different cars so I always have an "out" if I need to run and he still has to stay while he serves in his ministries...
I find it hard to believe that I am the only one in this situation. How many of you out there find yourselves in this same "boat" along with me? Going to church is quite the endeavor and it can be completely exhausting! When special events, like Christmas, come, it's just so much harder! I'm not one that is big on new year's resolutions, but I do have a special prayer... I pray that this just gets easier. I don't know how... nor do I know what to even ask God to do to make it easier, I just pray that it gets easier. I see other parents who seem to just be able to leave their child with those in charge and walk away actually able to sit and enjoy the service. I know the Lord sees my actions and He will bless my hard work for His kingdom. I know the day WILL come when I can just leave my little man with the folks in charge, I know others will rise up to share the load of ministering to these little ones... My favorite Bible verse is my foundation:
"Faith is being sure of what you ope for and certain of what you do not see." Hebrews 11:1
I pray for you who may be in this same situation, that the Lord will open new doors for you in the New Year and that you, too, will be able to share the load and take the time to feed your soul as part of your church congregation. Some of you may not even be able to go to church on Sundays at all... some of you may have left the church because of these same reasons. I pray for each and every single one of you, that the Lord will bless you and give you strength...and peace!
Merry Christmas everyone!
DC
I am so blessed to have a children's pastor who has a true heart for these kids and ALWAYS has a back-up plan that works. I am double blessed that I have a strong enough relationship with my Lord, Jesus Christ, that even when I miss time with the congregation I still have my special time with Him. I am tripple blessed that the little man and I had been celebrating Advent, so he knows the "reason for the season" and he knows we are celebrating the coming of our King: Jesus Christ! We go see the Christmas lights and instead of yelling out "Santa," he yells out "Baby Jesus! Mary... Joseph...Angel!" Yet the culmination of this celebration is just painful... just thinking about it makes my head hurt!
Our "normal" is just so different! Just to get ourselves ready for church on any given Sunday, we have to do all the previewing, explaining each of the things we will be doing. On a good day, when I have the time and energy, we'll look at pictures to get ready. Then I have to figure out what we're going to wear: it can't be too hot because the little man's temperature regulation is an issue and he's extremely sensitive to feeling too hot. I also can't wear anything that is too textured because he hates how it feels on his skin. I can't wear shoes that have heels because the little man's body awareness is so bad that he ends up under my feet all the time and I could really hurt him. I also need comfortable flat shoes in case I have to run to catch him, particularly when walking to and from our car. Once I've figured out the clothes we will wear to go to church, then it's getting into them..that's a whole other story I'd rather not get into. I make sure the little man's had a good breakfast but still have to pack plenty of snacks, juice boxes, Dum Dum lolipops and toys to keep him entertained. I have to take my things in a backpack so I have two free hands to catch him or give him the physical support he needs (no pretty pocketbooks for this mama).
On the way to church, we have to battle about not going to see trains or airplanes, although the little guy has gotten better at "First church, then airport." It doesn't help that there are about 10 signs pointing the route to the airport between our house and church. We also see three different train track lines on the way to church! Once we park the car, we have to get ourselves to the church... that walk can sometimes take up to 20 minutes between his dragging his feet, wanting to throw rocks or stopping to watch an airplane in the sky. Then it's getting in the door of the church building...and getting him into the noisy and crowded sanctuary. Most Sundays we just go right upstairs to the Sunday school classroom; that seems to work, but if he's there for too long without other children then he gets very territorial about the space and can be pretty nasty when the other kids get there. Navigating Sunday school has its own challenges and they differ every week. Once Sunday school is over, we have to walk down to find his Papa in the large noisy crowd. There's all the explaining and excuses when people want him to speak to them or say hello and he's just in total overload. He is pretty good at giving "high fives," though! :-)
On a good Sunday, I will stay for the second service. We have our special place where we sit, right near the exit and where he can see his daddy while he works at the sound booth or down on the stage when he's playing with the praise and worship team. The lull between the two services is heavenly and allows us to sit quietly, have a snack and rest before the service begins. By that point we are on the home stretch... and can usually make it through the praise and worship (if it's not too loud) and until the offering. By that point, all my tricks have stopped working and it's time to go! So, the long walk back to the car begins... though knowing he will go see trains or airplanes are the carrot at the end of the stick to get him moving a little bit faster. Once we're in the car, I take a deep breath, praise the little man for being so wonderful and before I start the car, I review what we learned in Sunday school. Really, it's just my way of recouping before driving. It also helps him feel like "church" is done and now we're moving on. By this point it's about 1:30 pm and I'm spent, yet we have the whole rest of the day to go! Oh, another small detail, my husband and I usually travel in different cars so I always have an "out" if I need to run and he still has to stay while he serves in his ministries...
I find it hard to believe that I am the only one in this situation. How many of you out there find yourselves in this same "boat" along with me? Going to church is quite the endeavor and it can be completely exhausting! When special events, like Christmas, come, it's just so much harder! I'm not one that is big on new year's resolutions, but I do have a special prayer... I pray that this just gets easier. I don't know how... nor do I know what to even ask God to do to make it easier, I just pray that it gets easier. I see other parents who seem to just be able to leave their child with those in charge and walk away actually able to sit and enjoy the service. I know the Lord sees my actions and He will bless my hard work for His kingdom. I know the day WILL come when I can just leave my little man with the folks in charge, I know others will rise up to share the load of ministering to these little ones... My favorite Bible verse is my foundation:
"Faith is being sure of what you ope for and certain of what you do not see." Hebrews 11:1
I pray for you who may be in this same situation, that the Lord will open new doors for you in the New Year and that you, too, will be able to share the load and take the time to feed your soul as part of your church congregation. Some of you may not even be able to go to church on Sundays at all... some of you may have left the church because of these same reasons. I pray for each and every single one of you, that the Lord will bless you and give you strength...and peace!
Merry Christmas everyone!
DC
 |
| The little man's Christmas train...the Bethlehem Express! |
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
David Phelps: "Oh Holy Night"
I've written so many times on this blog about one of my favorite Christian artists, David Phelps. I can't help but share his rendition of one of the most beautiful Christmas songs. I hope you enjoy it!
Be blessed!
Be blessed!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Another Fantastic Story about Christmas and Autism!
Hi all! These great stories just keep rolling in!!! Here is another GREAT one! Be blessed!
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700207763/Unsettling-season-Noisy-bright-busy-holidays-are-challenge-for-families-of-children-with-autism.html
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700207763/Unsettling-season-Noisy-bright-busy-holidays-are-challenge-for-families-of-children-with-autism.html
From the Autism Support Network: Enjoying the Holidays with an autistic child
Great article from the ASN! Acceptance is a big part of finding peace in parenting a child with an autism spectrum disorder. I often talk about how important it was for us to learn what worked for Nathan rather than making him fit our mold. Here's some food for though (read below). Blessings!
Read more: http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/enjoying-holidays-autistic-child-938927781#ixzz1h1m4fyuk
Enjoying the holidays with an autistic child
Lisa Jo Rudy
Question: How can we possibly enjoy the holidays with an autistic child?
Answer: From Dr. Cindy Ariel:
Holidays are often filled with stress. It takes work to make a beautiful and fun holiday for yourself and those around you. There is a lot of pressure to make the holidays perfect and fun, and to enjoy yourself while you're doing it. This is a tall order in any situation, but when you add to that the stress of having a child with special needs for whom you also want the holidays to be perfect and fun, it can become more overwhelming than ever.
Everything needs readjusting in your family life these days, and of course you are left with the emotions of it all. It is on you to make warm experiences for your family and new traditions that will help them to feel good about these family years. It's a huge adjustment. It's important at this time to sit back for a few minutes and backtrack just a little. What is it about the holidays that you've always enjoyed? Special foods? Pretty decorations? Certain activities? The gifts? All of it? Whatever it is, start there.
Focus on a few things you know are important to make sure you have prepared around this time. Of course, some things may need modification so that it is possible to enjoy them with your child with special needs. For example, if there is a danger of them hurting themselves on fragile decorations you may have to put them higher up and out of reach, or get new ones that are not so fragile. Some special foods may not be be served. These modifications often bring us disappointment but if the goal is a nice family holiday, it's important and we can adjust.
Make the demands on yourself realistic and don't try to do so much that you feel only frustration. Make realistic lists and work on things one at a time. Looking at a whole month of this holiday season is less overwhelming if you take it in small pieces. You may also have to lower your expectations of what you can really do, but at least what you do will be less stressful and make the holidays special.
Now for tackling the gifts. Again, you may have to step back and change your expectations. Think about your child and what will put a smile on his/her face. Maybe they can't handle the new games that every other kid is playing this year, or the current popular book series, or new sports equipment. But they may be thrilled with a cushy new ball, a big soft beanbag chair to flop on, a favorite food (within their dietary constraints), or even an hour away from all the noise and confusion to walk in brisk weather or slide in the playground. It's not what you hoped, but this part is not just about you. It's about how you can give everyone in your family some warm holiday experiences, and feel good about them and yourself in the process.
These may not be the holidays you once had, or dreamed of for your family. But you can still offer your family the love and warmth and smiles that the holiday glow that many of us carry within us is really all about.
From Dr. Robert Naseef:
Whenever I talk with parents, no other question is pregnant with quite so much emotion. No matter what tradition you celebrate - Chanukah, Christmas, Ramadan, or Kwanza - this can be a difficult time of year. Images of warm cozy family life fill our heads. It's a time to be close, to give thanks, and to look forward. It's a time to celebrate the lives of children, a time that families get together and assess where they are, notice changes and remember losses. There are many dimensions to the holiday season as visions of our own childhood holidays dance in our heads, but there is a special twist when your child is not developing typically. How we handle these times can set us up for a depressing winter season, or it can be an opportunity for growth and love. To grow, we have to acknowledge the often painful loss of the child we dreamed of and the challenges of having a child who is very different from what we imagined. After all, what parent doesn't look forward and envision an excited child having fun with new toys?
A thoughtful mother told me how she was enjoying the holidays this year as opposed to watching her son ignore his toys while she wept. She had learned to be realistic, now that her son who has autism is four. She wanted to buy him that first remote controlled car for four-to-six year olds, but instead she bought him some toys labeled 12-18 months that she knew he would enjoy. She also knows she will enjoy him this way, and she has the hope that he will develop from where he is, especially by becoming interested and having fun interacting with the rest of the family.
This woman loves her son dearly and has learned through her tears and grief to dream new dreams. She is now looking forward to being on the floor with him and following his lead in play. This process of letting go and moving on takes time, but most people do get there. Children with special needs have so much to teach their parents and the rest of society, particularly about accepting our differences and living in peace and harmony.
Holiday time is exciting for children, and children with special needs are no different. About 10-12 percent of school-aged children have disabilities and will receive holiday gifts this season. As opposed to wishing and pushing for a child to be normal, acceptance of the child where he or she is encourages further development. This brings us to an important lesson that all children can teach us in this current season for giving. More than the new toys, it is their parents’ time and attention that is so exciting and wonderful for children. It is the fuel for their development into kind and giving little people. In the consumer-driven rush this holiday season, let's not forget what’s really important. Let's connect with mind and heart to our families and friends and all whose lives we touch. Let's spend quality time together. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote many years ago, "The only true gift is a portion of thyself."
Robert Naseef, Ph.D., and Cindy Ariel, Ph.D., are the co-editors of "Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People With Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom" (2006). On the web at www.alternativechoices.com.
Courtesy of Lisa Jo Rudy About.com, A NY Times Company.
Read more: http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/enjoying-holidays-autistic-child-938927781#ixzz1h1m4fyuk
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Love Came Down- Devotional from DaySpring
Preparing for the holidays is primarily a preparing of the heart.
Because what comes down is love, and the way to receive love isn't to wrap anything up - but to unwrap your heart.
Because what comes down is love, and the way to receive love isn't to wrap anything up - but to unwrap your heart.
Advent - this is the season of preparing that prepares us for any season of life - because we are preparing our lives for Christ to enter in - which prepares for us the life without end. Is that the ultimate purpose of this life - the preparing for the next life?
Is this why Christmas, Advent, unlike any other time of year, glimmers with a glimpse of heaven - because it's the time of year we're fulfilling our purpose, preparing for Christ and His coming again? The Christmas tree's been lit for weeks, a beacon, a preparing, an anticipation. Why is it easier to make Christmas cookies than to make our hearts ready for Christ?
Is getting ready for Christmas as simple and difficult as simply sitting stilled before the cradle of Christ?
And yet. Love came down and "He came to His own people, and His own people did not receive him." (John 1:11)
Love came down - and his own people did not recognize Him.
Love came down - and His own people did not want what He offered.
The Messiah came down and He wasn't received as the Messiah - and Love comes down and who receives all the moments as His love?
And yet. Love came down and "He came to His own people, and His own people did not receive him." (John 1:11)
Love came down - and his own people did not recognize Him.
Love came down - and His own people did not want what He offered.
The Messiah came down and He wasn't received as the Messiah - and Love comes down and who receives all the moments as His love?
-Devotion excerpt by Ann Voskamp, author of the blog A Holy Experience and the New York Times Bestseller One Thousand Gifts: A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)